"Okay class, our next project will be done in pairs, which I will be assigning—"
Great. If there was one thing worse than group projects, it was assigned group projects. I surveyed the lab as the teacher began listing off names. Nobody here was anybody I'd be particularly enthused to work with. There were no good hot girls, and (though I'd never admit to this being an issue) there were slightly too many black kids for my liking. Well whatever, I'd just put up with it. With any luck the project will be short, and as long I didn't paired with—
"Anon, you'll be with Kelly."
Fuck.
I looked over to the front of the room, where the retard was sitting on top of special high chair. She looked back and waved her stubby arm at me. I smiled weakly and raised a hand slightly in response.
This was the worst possible outcome. I know you're not supposed dislike "special" kids so much, and I'm usually fine with like the wheelchair-bound vegetable types. But Kelly was the annoying kind of special kid. She was the kind that makes random outbursts, and babbles to herself incoherently, and goes off on endless tangents when answering a question in class to point where even the teacher has had enough of it. Her voice is mush-mouthed, her face is ugly as sin, and she smells funny. Worst of all though, she had an annoying habit of attaching herself to groups of people who show her even the slightest bit of cordiality, and since she's a retard you can't even tell her to fuck off. My friend group almost got stuck with her once, but we luckily managed to pawn her off to another group of more "social justicey" type nerds, who weren't able to reject her because of their morals. This group project could potentially screw all of that up.
"Alright, get with your partners and I'll hand out the information."
The sound of clattering chairs and shuffling feet filled the room as everyone rearranged themselves. I stood up slowly, and after grabbing a notebook and pencil made my resigned way up to the front.
"Hey there Anon!"
Kelly gave me a dopey smile as I sat next to her. Already I could smell the weird funk coming off of her. Christ, does she not shower or something?
"Hey, Kelly..."
The teacher finished handing out the papers and returned to the blackboard to start explaining the details of the project. Not being one to take notes, I just sat back and half-listened. Kelly, on the other hand, was scrawling away in her notebook, moving her deformed dwarven arm in large strokes to make large misshapen letters. Occasionally she would make some weird moaning noise, kind of like a Tourettes tick or something. I didn't know exactly what she had, or even if it was related at all to her dwarfism. I guess God or genetics or fate or whatever simply decided to doom her to a life of being only half-fucked up: deformed and retarded but just functioning enough to be sentient. Anyways, her hellish existence wasn't my problem. I would do the bare minimum on this problem and skedaddle before she got even the slightest inclination to latch on to me.
With this plan in mind, as soon as the bell rang I shot up and ran back to collect my belongings. I had just about made it to the door when I felt a tugging at the bottom of my shirt.
"Hey Anon wait up!"
Things really weren't going my way today. I turned around to see Kelly staring up at me, still with that dopey grin.
"It's free period now, do you wanna start working on the project?"
Seriously? The thing wasn't due for like a week. I wracked my brain for an excuse.
"Shoot, sorry, I have band rehearsal stuff right now. The concert's coming up you know..."
"Ah okay, do you wanna work on it on tomorrow's free period then?"
No, but I knew coming up with constant excuses would become too obvious. I decided to just delay.
"Um, well, maybe. I'm pretty busy right now with band and other stuff, so I'll have to get back to you later. I really gotta go now, sorry!"
I jogged out into the hallway and around the corner faster than her little midget legs could go, and with that I made my escape.
Of course, there was no band rehearsal today. I instead met up with my friends out front to go get lunch. We decided to get some Chipotle and sat down to eat it in our usual spot by the park. They commiserated with me as I explained the previous period's predicament.
"Ah shit, seriously? With Kelly? That's rough."
"Remember when she and Patrick O'Malley were together for the science fair thing?"
"Oh god that was a match made in hell." (Patrick O'Malley was one of those other annoying kids nobody likes. Notorious for being an edgelord who liked to say he was a Nazi and owned a copy of Mein Kampf. Needless to say Kelly and Patrick working together ended up very poorly for both.)
I leaned back on the park bench. "Yeah, at least this is only for a week though. I just hope she doesn't start trying to come hang out again like befo—"
I had stopped mid-sentence, because as I turned to look back over my shoulder I saw none other than Kelly herself, staring back at us. From her shocked expression it was clear that she heard our entire conversation.
"Oh, Kelly, uh... hey there..."
She said nothing for a few seconds. I could see tears forming in her eyes. Then she let out a loud moan, spun around, and ran off — or I should say waddled off, as she is a midget after all.