Kira stepped through the door, expecting to waltz into the glamor of the 1960s Las Vegas Casino lounge program, instead crossing over into the warm sunlight of a woodland vista overlooking some pastoral village with a huge Gothic castle in the distance. This wasn't Vic's at all. In a blur she saw Odo, Quark,and Rom all come running at her , their voices a jumble of desperation, urging her not to do something. 'What's going on?" she said just as the entrance to the holosuite vanished.
The Ferengi clutched his fists in frustration as Kira looked on, a hand on the hip of the glitzy dress she wore. "Quark, you slime. I paid you in advance for this timeslot and I find you in here, in some wilderness program, trying to ambush me?"
Quark brushed dirt off his garishly colored doublet, "I assure you, Major, I'll compensate you properly -- with a one time discount of five percent on your next reservation of a holosuite, just as soon as we can get out of here."
"What do you mean? Computer, end program."
"Unable to comply," the feminine voice of machine responded flatly.
"We've been trying that all morning," Odo said, "Comm badges won't reach the outside world either."
"The program should end if it we play it out and let it come to its conclusion," Rom pipped up, his mouth hanging open in a dopey look. "At least, that's the theory."
"So what are you all sitting around here for then?" said Kira. "Just what sort of program is this? A walk in the woods?"
"If only it were that simple," Odo told her, "I ended up in this holosuite in the first place because someone," he pointed at Quark,
"That's a baseless accusation, constable," the Ferengi responded.
Odo continued, "broke the encryption on a classified Federation data file. They tried to cover their tracks by merging it with this holosuite program."
"Computer," Kira said, "what are the details of this program?"
"An adventure in the Kingdom of Larion, beset by the vampire Count Grey."
Kira shrugged, "So we just have to play along and slay the vampire?"
"It would appear so, but look carefully at that castle, you might not be able to make it out from here but I shapeshifted into Tarkalean hawk and had a look around. The parapets are crawling with Jem'Hadar. The Federation program was a classified infantry training program designed for elite commandos going into battle. Safety protocols are disabled. We try storming the gates and we'll be cut down like cannon fodder."
Kira wasn't looking forward to walking down the dirt path to that village, where all sorts of trouble the narrative of this program had doubtlessly waiting for them, especially not doing it in heels.