You are Alex, a young twenty-something boy who's been down on his luck. You've recently graduated from college, and your new, grueling entry-level job has been bearing down on your psyche. To top it all off, you're lonely.

Recently, one of your coworkers was talking to you about a local bar called "The Cougar's Den"—he told you that the joint is often packed with older women looking for younger men. After weighing your options a bit, you decide to man up and check it out one Friday night.

Friday evening comes, and after a short drive, you find yourself at The Cougar's Den. A man at the door checks your ID before letting you inside.

You push past the door, and are met with a strong aroma of perfume, booze, and cigarette smoke. The bar is dimly lit with various colored lights, and some smooth music from before your time plays. Befitting to its name, some of the decor is plastered with a tacky leopard-print. You look around, and sure enough, there's plenty of older women here, though most seem to be chatting up boys your age. At the edge of the bar, you spot two women, obscured in the dim light, sitting alone, and judging by their raucous laughter, quite drunk.

You muster up a bit of courage to go over and perhaps strike up a conversation. As you approach them, however, shock and horror wash over you—those two boozed-up women are your mom and Aunt Judy.

"Heeey, cutie!" spouts your mom, beckoning you over.

"Come sit with us, handsome—wait", she says, squinting at you. "Mary, that's Alex!"

"O-oh!" hiccups your mom, surprised. "W-what are you doing here, young man?"

Flustered and aghast, you say "Um... a coworker recommended me this place."

Your aunt smirks at you and says "You're here to meet girls our age, aren't ya?"

Sheepishly, you say "I'm just here to have a good time."

"We're here to get dates—!" says Aunt Judy, before your mom puts a hand over her mouth.

"Not!" says mom. "But while you're here, s-settle a debate for us! Who looks better, me or your aunt?"