Plain white. Plain white all over the place. God, why are hospital rooms so plain, white, and boring? Sure, seeing nothing but that for over two weeks now isn't helping, but still, would it kill them to paint some walls in, I don't know, a mauve tone or something like that? I'm not asking for the world here. A little bit more diversity in the furniture than just a plain wooden table and chair alongside a tiny, black-and-white TV that only gets two crappy local channels? They don't even have any reception for phone internet here, so I can't even look for mobile games to occupy the time with. Honestly, I thought it was bad enough when I was stuck in a big city hospital with some sort of illness I still don't understand, but now that I seem to be largely past it, I was transferred to this rinky-dink rural county hospital to open up a bed at the big one. This place is pretty much deserted because this county is just a bunch of farmers that'd rather die than go to the doctor—and I'm still not sure if that leading to me having a room of my own is a negative or a positive.
As I lay there in my hospital bed, absentmindedly staring at the TV but not really processing it, as has become my routine for most of the day, there's a knock at the door. This is a surprise, since there's not really much in the way of procedures for me to go through right now, I just get my blood taken in the morning for daily surveillance testing and am then left to marinate until the next day, under strict orders to not leave my room for some reason. So someone showing up in the afternoon is not something I expected. I can't really get a response out before it opens, and in steps Jamie, one of the nurses. The only reason I know his name is because he made it very clear when we first met, back when I was transferred here about a week ago. Really, everybody else here seems like they're dying, figuratively speaking, but Jamie's actually got some spring in his step.
"Hey, Brennan, you got a moment?" he asks, clearly trying to be polite despite knowing full well I'm not doing a damn thing. I give him a nod in return, and he sits down on the nearby chair. "So, um, I wanted to ask... I've noticed that you haven't had any visitors since you've been here. Do your friends and family not know you're here? Or can't you tell them because you have no reception with your phone? Because I could call them for you if that's the case..." he trails off.
With a sigh, I shake my head. "No, that's not it. I just don't have anybody that'd visit me," I explain. "Parents won't talk to me after they learned of me dating a guy."
That response gets a reaction out of him, though he's trying to mask it. "Oh! Uh... so, um, you have a boyfriend, then?" he asks.
Again, I shake my head. "Nah, it didn't work out. I'm... not great at making friends," I tell him.
After that, he falls into silence for a moment. I can basically see the gears turning in his head. "Then... I'll be your visitor!" he suggests, very enthusiastically.
I can't really figure out what he's getting at, so all I can say is a confused "What do you mean?"
"Well, there's not a lot going on at this hospital, as you might've been able to gather. So I can just stay with you for a few hours! We can talk, watch TV, maybe share an afternoon snack... you know, stuff you usually do with your visitor in the hospital," he explains.
That's quite the odd suggestion. I didn't really have "hang out with a nurse" in my plan here, but then again, what else am I going to do? "Alright, sure, let's give it a shot."
"Yay! I promise you'll have a good time, and I bet the hours will just fly by now!" he says with a wide smile, and there's something kinda cute about it.
The next two hours are a very welcome reprieve from all this boredom. Jamie is a local here, whereas I've never even known this county exists, so he has plenty to tell me, and despite a lot of the stories he tells being very mundane, he somehow has a talent for making them engaging. We also watch some of the local TV, which is entertaining in a bizarre kind of way. Finally, we share a piece of cake Jamie brings over from the hospital cafeteria. It's not great, but honestly, it's just nice to have some variety compared to the usual dreck that gets served at this place that must have had more budget cuts than patients.
But after we finish up the cake, there's a shift in Jamie's expression, like he's unsure as to whether he should say something or not. I chuckle a bit and ask, "What, something on my face?"
"Actually, yes... hang on a second..." he replies, still a bit timid, as he reaches out, his hand gently taking my chin as he wipes away some crumbs next to my lips. But then, his hand lingers, maintaining this soft contact. His thumb carefully brushes against my cheek, once, twice, thrice. I can tell from his expression he's losing himself a bit, but after a few surprisingly comfortable moments, he catches himself, quickly retracting his hand. "Ah! Sorry! I... I didn't mean to... um..."
He's nervous, and so am I. "It's alright, I didn't mind... so if you want to, y'know, keep going, that'd be fine... your hand felt nice against my face..." I mutter, a warm blush rising to my cheeks. It's just the two of us in this hospital room, patient and nurse. Perhaps, this is just another way of caring for someone... a way Jamie can help me, not to heal my body... but my heart. Without a response, his hand ever so slowly moves back towards my face, settling on my cheek.