My heart skips a beat.
Inhaling mouthfuls of cold damp air, blood manages to pump through my veins again. In return, sharp reverberations of pain shoot through my chest, making me feel sick and dizzy. It hurts to breathe, but there's nothing I can do about it.
It's not fatal, just painful. Just an ache in my chest, I convince myself. My body is laden with wounds: bullet holes in my left arm, burns on my right leg, and several broken ribs. On top of that, I have a fractured shoulder blade, all of it barely dulled by the sedative I took earlier, but my eyes are wide open. They're burning from staring into the darkness of night. A faint outline of a building through the cracks is seen between the thick branches of the surrounding forest, and with little Krystyna trying her best to guide me toward it, I finally manage to stumble at last out of the forest.
"Captain," says the diminutive figure leaning over me, "We're almost there."
Pointing to the small silhouette ahead through the gaps in the trees, Krystyna mentions offhand, "No operatives will see us here if we stay low. Their agents won't reach this place until tomorrow morning when they'll find your car crashed along the road."
I nod, but my head feels heavy. I don't know how much longer I can go without sleep. What did those men think? That they could take me down? Damn, just the effort of moving makes me want to lie down. As we approach the structure, I notice it's an old GIS. Its insides are empty, and its exterior has been torn apart by scavengers.
The substation's door is locked, but with a flourish of her enhanced strength Krystyna manages to force it open. We enter the dimly lit interior, where the concrete floor is littered with trash. A single fluorescent lamp hangs from the ceiling, providing us with some illumination.
Krystyna sits me down on the ground next to the wall and begins rummaging through the contents of her bag. She pulls out a bottle of water and a packet of painkillers, which she gives me. After taking them, I close my eyes and try to take deep breaths, only wheeze painfully, trying to inhale more air. When I open my eyes again, Krystyna is standing in front of me, staring intently at me. Equipped with a combat vest, she makes it seem almost comical in contrast with her juvenile appearance; Her long soft blond hair, her slender frame and a childish face. But with a SVD rifle hanging from her shoulder, and her steely composure in the midst of all this, it's obvious she's a no mere child but a trained agent.
"Captain," she states in a matter of fact voice, "I remember everything."
A lump forms in my throat, a strange feeling comes over me. Suddenly, I realize what's wrong. But despite knowing this, I'm unable to stop the words escaping my lips.
"Your memories..." I say, my voice sounding more like a groan than words, gathering my strength to speak. "You mean, they came back?"
She nods, her expression serious and earnest.
"Yes, Captain," she replies firmly, holding my gaze steadily.
Forcing myself to stay steady, stoically suppressing the urge to frown, I look up at Krystyna. With trepidation, I ask "...When?"
"About a month or more," she continues, with more emotion. "Flashes of memory began to surface. The first few times, I couldn't really understand what I saw, so I thought maybe I was imagining things. But! Mother and Father taking the bus... the blast, blood everywhere, pain... From then on, I felt it! Bit by bit, it surfaced! Just why me!? Tell me, am I human or just a robotic doll!?"
Her voice rises, and Krystyna falls silent for a moment before continuing.
"I though I was a disposable tool for the Central Authority. And then, one day... I remembered you! Krystyna, the name you gave me, it gave me meaning. The small moments together, a flame burning up to it's last embers. I didn't dare to dream of anything else. Even if it was a lie, I wanted desperately for that to be the truth. For what sanity I had, for what I felt inside to be real."
At those words, I feel a pang of shame. I can see the tears forming in her eyes. It's obvious now, the answer was known from her behavior the last month. But before I get a chance to answer, Krystyna continues speaking, seemingly oblivious to my internal conflict.
"So beautiful, it made the pain, the killings and the 'treatments' worth it. To protect you. And for the briefest moment, I forgot why I had to do it. I stopped thinking about the Central Authority. For the first time, I truly understood what it meant to be human."
Krystyna lowers her gaze, hiding the anguish in her eyes behind her bangs. Tears roll freely down her cheeks.
"The last mission... I knew my candle would soon burn out. It wasn't right, but I tried to justify it," she tells me. "Even if it means your hate, I... no we had to escape. Because I can't let go of the thought of losing you! A little happiness with Captain. I should hate myself for doing such terrible things, but instead..."
As Krystyna speaks, she keeps her head bowed, avoiding eye contact. This is the most vulnerable I've ever seen her. But I can't bring myself to comfort her.
With trembling hands, she attempts to wipe away her tears, then suddenly breaks into a smile and directly stares at me.
"I knew you would never return my feelings. No matter how hard I try, I cannot become human. I am a weapon, programmed to kill and obey orders. Still! I betrayed you and the CA! There was a leak... a mole within the organization. I reported you instead, so we'd be alone together on the run with no way to come back."
Her confession shocks me. I can hardly comprehend what I hear.
But then something clicks inside me.
The manhunt, the shooting, the betrayal—it's all her idea. I've always been the one who gave orders, while she followed them unquestioningly. Now I understand the source of her loyalty to me. Is that why she was willing to risk everything for me, including herself, all for the sake of pursuing her genuine feelings, her true self?
"I can't lo—lose you," a large tear runs down her cheek. "Please Captain, whether my feelings are fake or real, I just... I don't care anymore."
"Krystyna—"
Suddenly, she throws her arms around me, burying her face in my neck. Tears flow freely down her cheeks as she cries uncontrollably, unable to hold back any longer. What am I supposed to do? Shouldn't I be angry at her for putting us both in danger like this? Or perhaps ruining our lives? Why does it hurt so bad?
As I sit there, unsure of what to do, with her cheeks red from emotion Krystyna whispers to me, "All this time... I knew I wouldn't be forgiven for this, but I love you Captain Adrian Kowalski."
Then briefly and gently, she kisses me on the lips, only then to grab me by the collar and shove me onto the ground. Before I can react, Krystyna reaches for the pistol she keeps strapped to her thigh, and points it directly at my forehead, shouting, "No one is more important to me than you! Whether I'm human or not doesn't change anything! Captain, answer me! Tell me how you feel, or I swear to God, I will shoot you! Understand?!!"
Before I have a chance to respond, Krystyna presses the barrel against my skin. In desperation, I whisper, "Krystyna, please wait. Please listen to reason."
"Reason!?" She shouts angrily. "This isn't reasoning, this is insanity! I don't care if I die, but I will not die until you answer, Captain Kowalski!"
"Please Kry—"
She presses harder against my skull with the muzzle of the gun, death looming ever closer. I know that if I give in to her demands and tell her how I truly feel, it'll end badly for both of us.
"No excuses! Don't give me lip service either! If you love someone, show it! You said before, I'm nothing special. All I am is a tool to you. So prove it to me, Captain! Prove you love me!"