Backdrop's set up, camera's ready, only a couple minutes until the appointment... yep, looks like everything's all worked out. Setting up all my gear in silence before every session has become a wonderful ritual for me, a sort of cleansing reset that flushes out whatever annoyances I might have been going through previously, to allow me to start over mentally and focus all my attention on the upcoming photoshoot. I feel like this is something I owe the subjects for these shoots, as they're going through a lot more than I am, being photographed completely nude for a nationwide publication and all. So hey, giving it my all is the least thing I can do. Not to mention I've been at this for quite some time and have developed a bit of a reputation within the magazine itself as a part-timer. When I'm called on, it's important, and today, I'm being called on for an interesting case.
A lot of times, the names I get to have in front of the camera are already known in the queer world, and them appearing in Rainbow Revelations is more of an elaboration rather than, y'know, a revelation. But this time, it's different. A local punk band, the Screaming Whirlwinds, happened to recently strike it big with a single reaching the top of the charts. In particular, the front man of the group, a young guy named Ruby, has become the focal point of the tabloids, ascribing all sorts of bizarre escapades to him in their usual fashion, with him being a fresh face in showbiz adding fuel to the fire. Ruby's sexuality and relationship with the band's bassist, Reed, has been a secret for now, but it's only a matter of time before the paparazzi figure it out, so he wants to get ahead of the press and come out on his own terms—with a full photoshoot and interview in Rainbow Revelations. And of course, with such a high profile story, I'm on the case.
I'm torn out of my thoughts by the door of my studio opening, and there he stands, wearing his trademark studded red leather jacket and rocking that flaming mohawk—Ruby. "Hey, you Evan?" he asks, a cocky grin on his face.
"Yep, that's me. You ready for the shoot, then?" I ask in return.
The punker gives me an enthusiastic thumbs-up. "Hell yeah. I'm gonna rock this," he boasts. He's definitely got the moxie right now, but I know enough to not judge a book by the first page, so to speak. A lot of people talk a big game, but shrivel up when the clothes start coming off, and given that this guy hasn't even come out publicly yet, I feel like nerves are going to hit him sooner rather than later. Not that I'd blame him for it, it's a massive event and a level of intimacy he's probably not used to, either.
After giving him some basic instructions and taking some simple starter pictures, things seem fine for a while. The leather jacket coming off doesn't seem to faze him much either, and I snap several playful shots that are going to make some great parts of the pictorial. But once I suggest he take his shirt off, I can practically see the trepidation seeping in, and he very clearly hesitates far more than before, making one, then two attempts at pulling his shirt off that he then stops. Looks like the reality of the situation, namely that he's going to be buck naked by the end of this, is setting in for him. "You wanna take a break?" I ask, trying to preempt any real anxiety.
Of course, Ruby shakes his head. "I'm fine. Just give me a moment," he replies, but I can hear that's not the case.
In cases like these, I like to really go in and cut off any attempt at pushing through it. When someone's already struggling when the shirt's coming off, there's no way we're going to make it past the pants and especially not the underwear. "No, you're not fine. C'mon, we're taking a break, we got the time," I declare, motioning over to a nearby couch I have set up exactly for situations like this. Thankfully, he doesn't protest and comes along, sitting down on the couch with me. I grab two bottles of soda out of the nearby cooler—it is a warm summer day after all—hand him one, and we drink in silence for a bit. "You ever get into any sort of lewd behavior in a public way? Get rowdy at a gig or something?" I eventually ask, looking to kind of just learn more about him.
With a blush and a sheepish smile, he answers, "Um, yeah... there was that one time I took off everything but my underwear on stage. But that was, like, adrenaline and all that. We were rocking that place so hard, and the AC didn't work, so it was super hot... it just felt right, y'know? But you were right, this is different. I wanna do it, I wanna show the world just who I am, but it's a bit much."
"I get it. You wouldn't believe how many people get stage fright here, even guys you'd think would be super confident. It's a really big thing to do. How about we just talk for a bit? I know you've got the interview with the other guys from the magazine here later, but I find having a little chat helps calm the waves," I tell him, and he nods in response. I think for a moment what a good topic would be, and I get an idea. "I heard you're in love with your band's bassist. Can you tell me a bit about him?"
Seems like that was a good pick, because the moment I bring him up, Ruby gets this dreamy look on his face. "Oh, Reed...