Teasing can be really, really, crazy dangerous.
Today's Valentine's day—the day that everything changed for me. My best friend and I go to to the same school together. Her name is Teagan and... she's a total knockout.
First, she's got the perfect figure. Her pale skin seems to glow, but she's got freckles in just the right places. Her nose is totally adorable, her smile is flawless, and her lips are... well, they're super kissable!
She's got this long, beautiful hair that falls around her shoulders and down her back. It's the most luxurious shade of red! Unfortunately (for everybody) she's always got it up in a ponytail, or even better, she's got it done up in a cute braid! I would kill for her hair.
Seriously. I would legiterally kill somebody who cut her hair. Dead. I'd go to prison forever. I ain't even care.
But I digress, you came here for the story, not my jealousy over Teagan's hair.
We've been pretty much joined at the hip since birth, her mom and my mom were BFFs back when dinosaurs roamed the Earth and Steve Jobs was still alive. We're totally inseparable! Always have been!
The two of us are really like two peas in a pod—a pair of bees bumbling in a flower, partners in crime, a pit of snakes! Well maybe not that last one, but we're pretty close.
Teagan's got this way about her that makes her irresistible. She's got a wicked sense of humor and she's always laughing. And her laugh is so freaking contagious, you can't help but laugh along with her! And all the guys just drool over her, but she's really introverted.
Teagan's always had this way about her that makes her irresistible. She's got a wicked sense of humor and she's always laughing. Then there's her eyes. They're so dark and amazing and they make my heart melt every time I look into them...
Yeah. That's a problem. I'm totally in love with my best friend.
Never told her, though. Never said a word. Never gonna. It would really mess things up, I know that much.
She's got this super-secret crush on this guy named Nathan. He's tall, blonde, and totally ripped. And he's the sweetest, kindest, most handsome boy I've ever met. I fucking hate him. Not because he's a bad guy—I wish! But because he winds up making her feel insecure.
I hate him because he makes her feel like she's not good enough for him.
It's stupid, but it's true. I see how much she likes him, and I get a little bit jealous.
Not only that, but I also can't stand the fact that he's got a girlfriend. He's in a relationship with a girl named Stephanie, who is, in fact, the most boring, dorky girl I've ever met.
Stephanie's not ugly or anything, Teagan's so far out of her league. Stephanie's got the personality of a dead slug, and she's just plain old weird. Teagan, meanwhile, is busy being a goddess and Nathan is stupider than a barrel of bricks!
But that's life. I guess that nobody can help who they fall in love with. Not Nathan, not Teagan, and not even me.
It was after school, in my room, and we were talking about this asshole who asked Teagan out today. When I helped her get out of the conversation (she wasn't interested), he called her a bitch! If she didn't hold me back? I would've bit his stupid fucking head off.
The conversation drifted to love, and marriage, and sex, of course. Then? Masturbation. Teagan had a really weird question!
"Is it true that some girls... you know," she couldn't bring herself to use the words and it was super cute! Frustrating for her, sure, but oh my gosh! "... With a hair brush?"
"Uh..." I began, shrugging. "I mean, yeah?"
Teagan blushed so hard she turned scarlet. "Ew," she whispered.
Which was weird! Because, in fact, I knew one of those girls who masturbated with hair brush handles! It was me. I did that.
"Yeah, it's totally normal," I assured her, a little defensively.
She looked at me, wide-eyed. "Really?"
"Yep. Totally."
"You don't think that's gross?"
I furrowed my brow, "What? It's not like you can't clean it."
"What about infection?"
"Cleaning?" I remind her.
"Well..." she said, her voice trailing off.
"Cleaning your hairbrush is easy," I said. "All you do is wipe it down with soap and water. Like, whenever you want to use it."
She had a far-away look, like she was considering her whole life. She asked, "What about the hymen, you know? Virginity?"
I nearly snorted, "What about it?"
"Does it grow back?"
I blinked. "No," I answered honestly.
"Then why use a hair brush?"
"Because it feels good? Because then a gross guy won't be hurting you the first time you have sex? Practice? Feels good?" Answer after answer, but I wasn't sure what she was looking for.
"I don't know!" she admitted. "I guess... it just seems wrong, somehow. I mean, we're not animals or anything. I know masturbation's natural—healthy even, but I..." her words died.
"Oh my god, do you not masturbate?" A smirk blossomed on my face.
She flushed bright red and shook her head. "I'm not sure if I should," she said.
"Why not?"
"I don't know!" she exclaimed. "It's private," she demurred.
"Oh. Cool. Well?" I was a little ramped up, I'll admit. "I masturbate with a brush."
"What!?"
"Yeah!" Nervous excitement had taken me a bit, and I'd decided to tease her. "Wanna learn see?"
"No!" she lamented, still light-hearted, sure, "I don't wanna know how you masturbate!"
My heart sank more than a little, but I'd known better. Then my eyes alit on the object of curiosity in the first place. My hairbrush. It was sitting, neatly—inconspicuously, even—-on the desk. Behind the chair she was sitting in.
I rolled to my knees on the bed and snatched it off the desk, "What, I thought you were curious?" I teased, waving the handle in her face.
She looked at it like it was the devil itself. "I don't want to know!" she insisted.
"C'mon, Teagen! Don't you wanna wa~atch?" my goading seemed to have the desired affect when she covered her eyes with her fingers.
"Stop it!" came the squeal, "You're so gross!" I don't know why, but it only made me want to press her buttons more.
"But you're curious!" I teased. "I can tell!"
"No!" she cried, "Please!"
"Aw, come on," I coaxed, "You know you wanna see."
She didn't answer, so I added, "I'll let you use it instead, if you wanna show off." I was being so smarmy.
"No!" she denied. So I did what was sensible (no it wasn't) and I all but leapt at her with the brush, brandying it about. Thus began the play-fight, as we wrestled over the handle, I trying to make her give in, she trying to get it away.
Her eyes were still shut tight, and she was laughing, and squirming, and it was really, really fun. Until we both went sideways off of the chair. I yelped and she gasped, and suddenly were were a tangled knot of limbs on the floor, her on top of me.
This would've been fine (we're super close, y'know?) except for one thing. Her legs were on either side of mine—like I said, we were tangled—and I could feel something really hard against my thigh. Like a gun, maybe? Or a vibrator or something? Like, her crotch was totally flush with my leg and mine was really close to hers, but I'm really pretty sure she didn't have any vertical bones in her groin that could've done that.
Her jolting up nearly scattered my table and its contents, and she seemed more upset at the landing than the fall. Her hands went to the front of her skirt, covering something that was pretty evidently there, at least, it felt like it to me and my thigh.
Sitting up, I was a little confused, my eyebrows were knit, and Teagan suddenly seemed to be on the verge of tears, almost.
"I'm sorry," her whispering was real quiet.
There was a long moment where neither of us said anything. I broke the silence though. "Teagan?" I asked.
"Yeah?" she whispered back.
"You okay?"
"I..." she swallowed, looking down at the floor.
"You... you have a penis?" I asked.
She looked up at me, tears brimming in her eyes, and she nodded. "It's not supposed to be there."
My eyes went wide. I didn't know what to think. "Really?" I asked.
"Yes," she whispered.
I didn't know what to say. I mean, I knew what I thought, but it was so out of left field that I just didn't know how to process it.
"Oh," was all I could manage.
"I was born this way," she admitted as the tears began to stream.
"Okay," I said, "okay. Look, there's nothing wrong with it, okay?" I tried to reassure her and failed.
"You hate me now, don't you!?" Her voice was quiet, she was trying to keep from getting my parents' attention, I could tell, but her voice was definitely a wail.
"No!" I said, and it was true. A worse truth was how incredibly exciting it was. It was also more than a little frightening. "No, Teagan, I could never hate you!"
"I'm not supposed to be like this," she continued, tears rolling down her cheeks.
"Teagan, I promise you, there is nothing wrong with you. You're beautiful, you're smart, and you're funny, and I love you. I don't care, and it isn't anybody else's business, okay?" My smile was a poor condolence, I knew, but it was all that I'd had at the time.
"Thank you," she whispered, "for being my friend."
I really wanted to try to kiss her then, and I was about to, but she'd pulled back, retreating in on herself like a wounded animal.
"I'm sorry, Cat," she said, her voice low, and soft.
"No, no, it's fine," I insisted, still searching for words.
She murmured, "It's so gross."
"Can I see it?" I asked. That little question was like glass breaking. She flinched, and her eyes went wide.
"I... I don't know if that's okay," she stammered.
"It's not gonna hurt anything," I told her. "I mean, you've seen me naked, remember? This isn't any different."
"But..." she was blushing furiously now. "I tried not to look," she was defensive and I nodded along.
She did look away. "It was super fucking cute, yeah, but c'mon. It's okay, I promise. I'll tell you, once and for all, if it's gross or not. Okay?"
She was silent, for such a long while, but I knew that she was gonna cave because of it. So, I just waited.
Finally, she whispered, "Okay."
She started standing as I was kneeling, watching. My eyes were fixed on her. Like a real cat's.
She was fidgeting with the hem of her skirt, so I softly said "Hey, I'm not gonna judge you, okay? I promise. I'm curious, but I won't make fun of you, I swear."
Her head was bowed, and she looked down at the floor. "I can't believe I'm doing this," she murmured.
"I know, but it's okay. You're gonna be okay," I told her, and I meant it.
"I guess..." she seemed to be trying to convince herself.
"It'll be fine. For sure, okay?" I offered, but I'm not sure if it made her feel better or worse.
She stood up, and I watched her fingers curl around the hem of her skirt. I think she was nervous, but she didn't move to cover it. She just stood there, and I kept looking at her.
My heart was pounding so hard I thought it might burst out of my chest. I was terrified, for sure! For sure! But I also felt this crazy feeling? Like I was going to explode with excitement!
Finally, she reached up and slowly lifted her skirt. The fabric fell away from her, revealing the pale flesh of her bitable inner thighs. She lifted her skirt up and I could see her panties, white and really cute, but they bulged at the top. Then I saw why. Lost in the fabric of her skirt there was trapped what I knew right away to be a penis.
The house could've collapsed but I wouldn't have been able to tear my eyes away. It wasn't hard, but it wasn't totally soft, either. I didn't know how to describe it. It was... it was...
It was just fucking amazing.