I can't help but shake the feeling I'm about to get screwed. Working as a farmer in a rural part of the State, I don't get a lot of breaks, and I certainly don't have a lot of nice days. So when I finally got a two week long vacation in the capital city approved, I was, quite frankly, ecstatic. And when I traded some packs of cigarettes I had been saving to barter with for a voucher to visit the House of Refreshment with one of my friends, I was even happier. So far, I had only heard stories of the State-owned brothel being operated in the capital city, and the stories were all calling it the greatest thing in the country. Apparently, the First Comrade visits it fairly regularly, and as such, funding for it has been quite high, leading to it being known as a place where every last desire you might have will be satisfied in a night of intense passion. Two people in our town had the luck of getting vouchers for that place so far, and now I'm the third.
Of course, I had to spend two days of my vacation traveling to the capital city by train, and will need two days for traveling back home, but that's just the way things are here, and besides, I don't get out much—nobody really does in our village—so just having spent some time riding a train through our great country is a reward in and of itself as well. Even if the train was cramped as hell, had multiple goats riding along in the single compartment I was in, and the smell was absolutely horrible. Even so, we have to be grateful for what the State provides, and I am, I really am. Besides, the accommodations I am staying at during my vacation are downright luxurious! Running water, three meals a day, and even the opportunity to exchange labor vouchers for rich desserts, what more could a farmer want? Sometimes, there's even heating in the room!
But while touring the capital city and seeing its sights was fun for three days now, I thought it was about time I take advantage of that voucher I saved up so hard to get, and made my way to the House of Refreshment. Stepping off the bus, my jaw dropped at what I saw. Despite already being in the most luxurious district of the city, with the Palace of the Communes—the seat of government and First Comrade's residence—nearby, the House stood out as being in a class of its own. With marble statues lining the entrance and a red carpet rolled out front, this building was undoubtedly the crown jewel of the First Comrade, which made sense, given that I had heard rumors that foreign dignitaries were housed there and the First Comrade was also frequently there in order to work on official government business with those foreign dignitaries.
And so here I am, in the downright decadent entrance hall of the House, taking in the sights. The entire floor is carpeted, the walls are lined with different paintings, and there are hardly any people walking around, which just makes the entire place look all the more exclusive. And as I gawk around, I catch the attention of an attendant with a peculiar mustache that motions for me to come over to him, so I do just that. He smiles a very friendly, welcoming smile and says "The State provides, comrade! Could I see your voucher?"
I searched around in my pocket while I said "Um, yeah, the State provides, comrade... wait a second, I know it's here somewhere... ah, here it is!". I then pull the voucher out of my pocket and hand it to the attendant.
He reads the voucher very intently, apparently making sure that it isn't a fake, but eventually he seems convinced. "Comrade Nikolaev, welcome to the House of Refreshment, the State's most desirable location! I am Comrade Ivanov, and I will be your attendant for today, which means I will be responsible for making sure every last wish you may have is fulfilled! So tell me, what is your desire?"
Now that he asks this, I realize I'm not even sure what exactly it is I want from this trip. "Um, well, I hadn't really thought about it... what do you have on offer?"
He claps his hands together. "Oh, comrade, it'd be better to ask what we don't have! Since you're unsure about just what you want, I believe I will just enroll you in the all-inclusive package, which entails a whole day with one of our very talented workers, and they will do the rest. When you return to your village, why, I believe you'll be the talk of the town with how refreshed you'll be!" But then, his expression drops a bit. "However, comrade... in the interest of being open with our visitors, there is one thing I should mention. The economy, as you surely know, has not been the best recently on account of Capitalist meddling. As such, we have had a bit of a workforce restructuring to get everything back on track, and so, we have been lacking in female employees. However, you need not worry! The First Comrade had made solving this issue his personal priority and has swiftly arranged for replacements! So we would ask you to be open-minded with what you find here today, and please remember, everybody working here today has the First Comrade's full approval!"
I silently nod my head, unsure just what exactly would be awaiting me. I mean, I suppose if the First Comrade put his seal of approval on the replacement workers here, then I have nothing to worry about, right? Ivanov gets up from his chair and motions for me to follow him, and he leads me along a hallway with many doors to one particularly luxurious looking one, then hands me a key. "Here, comrade, with compliments of the House, our special suite. Take as much time as you need, it's the least we can do to make up for the inconvenience."
He then quickly runs off, and I'm not sure if it's because he's busy, or because he doesn't want to be there when I open the door, and the fact I can't tell is a bit scary. But nothing ventured, nothing gained, and so I open the door and step inside.
The first thing I notice is that this room is insanely decadent. Gold trims are everywhere along the walls, more marble statues, a massive bed with what looks to be a very soft mattress, flowers everywhere... it's incredible. This must be the sort of luxury that kings have in those Capitalist countries, and here I am, a common farmer, able to live that luxury. Truly, the State provides for us all. But then, my eyes fall upon something that isn't what I expected. I would have expected a pretty woman, or maybe a not quite so pretty woman, given the workforce shortages, but instead, standing right there in the middle of the room, back turned to me, is a soldier, or at least somebody dressed up as a soldier. As I close the door behind me, the soldier notices me, turns around and then, in the blink of an eye, snaps to attention and salutes sharply. "The State provides, Comrade Nikolaev! Thank you for visiting the House of Refreshment!"
The confusion must be clearly visible on my face right now, and all I can really say is "...who are you?"
Without even moving a single muscle, he quickly, loudly and clearly replies "My apologies, comrade! I am Comrade Fedorov, a soldier of the 3rd Support Battalion, and I have been sent here by the First Comrade himself to support the pride and joy of the capital city!"
I can't believe what I'm hearing. Are they really sending soldiers to do the job of prostitutes? Not that this Fedorov guy here looks bad—in fact, he has quite a feminine looking face and a slim build that could lead one to confuse him for a woman—but he's a guy! There is no way I can do... that... with a guy, even if he's probably the prettiest guy I've ever seen... wait, what am I even thinking? It doesn't matter that he's pretty, I'm not doing that!
It seems like he can tell that I'm now very worried about just what is going on, and his hand snaps back down to his side as he continues to stand at full attention. "Do not worry, comrade! We of the 3rd Support Battalion are the First Comrade's chosen, and we take every job we are sent on serious to the utmost, no matter what! I ask that you allow me to prove the discipline of the 3rd to you, and I promise that I will deliver to you an experience that is worthy of the House of Refreshment's reputation!" he practically yells. His intensity and fervor would be almost frightening if it wasn't for his diminutive stature and androgynous features.
Looking away, I can feel myself starting to fidget nervously. I'm in a situation I hadn't even remotely considered possible and it's clear to me I don't know what to do. "Um, well, but... you're... you're a guy. And I'm a guy! This... this isn't right!"
He doesn't seem to be discouraged in any way by my apprehensions, and in fact is now stepping closer to me. "Ah, I see the problem now, Comrade Nikolaev! The enlightened science of the capital city must not have reached your rural province yet!" Without missing a beat, he reaches inside a pocket on his uniform jacket, and pulls out a small booklet. "Page 54 of The First Comrade's Teachings! 'Capitalist ideas such as gender and sexuality must be abolished for the State to be truly free of decadent ideas. Love has to be open to be given from anyone, to anyone!' So you see, comrade, this is the way of the future! In fact, you should be glad to be part of the vanguard! We are going to be the ones to bring this revolutionary thought to your province!"
I'm completely overwhelmed now—this guy has such a strange, domineering aura about him that his intensity and fervor seems to just cancel out any objections one might have. I can't even say anything as he, with military precision, tosses his military cap off onto a nearby clothes hook, then swiftly undoes all the buttons on his jacket, letting it fall open and revealing part of his bare chest. He then slowly begins to walk towards me. "Do not be afraid, comrade... I know this is unusual for you. But believe in the First Comrade's teachings! You will become a hero in your hometown! And I swear on the honor of the 3rd, when we are done, you will be completely and utterly satisfied, in a way you never have been before!"
He closes the distance between us entirely, looking up at me with that intense, militaristic eagerness in his eyes. And then, with another swift, precise movement, his lips meet mine.