Trudging along the bleak tarmac, I, ${name}, in my beat up 1987 Cutlass work my way through the end of day traffic. I chug along weaving through traffic, nearly getting into several accidents with much nicer cars. I am in a rush though. I must make it home to see my twin daughters! Well, they aren't actually my daughters, but I have raised them since birth! Six years ago, on my way to the same dead end job I have today, two blurs came crashing down upon the hood of my car, completely wrecking my vehicle and ruining any chance I had of getting to work on time. Dazed and freaking out over the state over my old Subaru Wagon, I slowly pulled myself out of the wreckage of my vehicle to inspect the damage. Sitting nestled into crevices on the hood of my car, were two medium-sized eggs. At the time, I had no idea what they were eggs from and I still have no idea to this day where they came from, but I decided work wasn't worth going to that day. This event was much more important! I could feel it happened for a reason and it gave me an excuse to take the day off. Probably against my better judgment at the time, I grabbed up the two eggs and, instead of taking them to wildlife refuge or someplace like an intelligent person would, I brought them home. I never regretted that decision a day in my life.
Doing some research on the eggs, once I got back home and stuck them under some old Godox strobe lights as a heat lamp (better than nothing), I learned that these eggs were probably harpy eggs! They were hard as concrete and miraculously survived smashing into my car. If I did a good job taking care of these eggs, two wonderful harpy children will be born! I will no longer be alone, suffering through the drudgery of work. I will be with my harpy kids, suffering through the drudgery of work and family! In all regards, that is an upgrade!
I set to work improving the harpy eggs' makeshift nest of blankets and pillows I had lying around the house and I splurged the modest dough to buy them an actual 250W incubation heat lamp and replaced the Godox light (which is actually 300W, but has awful battery life and produces little radiant heat). I set my harpy eggs' cozily in their nest under the heat lamp and waited. And waited. Months went by and nothing happened. I went in and out of work worrying everyday that they would hatch and I wouldn't be there. But nope, they just sat around like a pair of lazy sacks. I wondered if they were just late bloomers or if they were dead. I wasn't just going to throw them away though. I held out hope they would hatch one day.
A few weeks later that day came. I walked into my house, hanging up my coat, and checked on the eggs like I always did. Surprisingly, they were moving and rocking back and forth! I waited patiently in front of them, ready to behold the miracle of harpy birth! It was very anticlimactic! The two harpy babies just suddenly popped up through the top of their eggs at relatively the same time, leaving a rigged top half of their eggs cutely laying on their heads like rice hats. They turned out to be a pair of girls. I named them Michiru and Kaeru and they changed my life.
I raised them carefully every day, trying to teach them things that I thought would be helpful to them. I'm not a harpy mother so I had no idea what I was doing. Six years later, I think that's why they didn't grow up very well to become good girls. Michiru has blue hair and feathers and a slightly chubby, but still cute body. It's only baby fat. She's really lazy and hates working. Kaeru has banana yellow hair and feathers with a lithe built. She's very mean and bites her sister and I sometimes when she's being fussy. They're both quite a handful.
As I rush home from work today, I have the knowledge that it's Father's Day in the back of my mind and I know I must spend as much of it as I can with my daughters. They're not objectively the best daughters, they're honestly complete brats, but I love them both nevertheless. I dangerously make my way through traffic to make it home as quickly as possible. I pull my Cutlass into the driveway and fumble with the keys to get inside the house. I rush in eager to see my two daughters. "Hey, girls! I'm home!" I exclaim excitedly ready to spend the rest of Father's Day with my harpy daughters. Michiru and Kaeru are nestled cutely together on their little perch and they