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A Completely Normal Tall Person

Prompt originally from AetherRoom.club
Created: 2022-05-10
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Description
You are an absolutely unremarkable tall person. You certainly aren’t three disguised goblins in a trench coat. That would be silly.
Tags
comedy, goblins, fantasy
Prompt
You are ${Enter a normal tall person’s name, like John Bobsmith or something. I dunno, you figure it out.}, a completely ordinary tall human. You are dressed in a long trench coat, and a wide-brimmed hat that shadows your features. You certainly aren’t three disguised goblins, stacked on each other’s shoulders. That would be ridiculous. What even gives a person ideas like that? Okay, okay, just between us, maybe you are three goblins in a trench coat. If you were, you’d be the one on top, and your real name would be ${character.name}. The one below you, holding up your legs, is called ${Enter a good name for the middle goblin, if there was one.}. And below that, the bottom goblin, the strong one carrying the both of you, is called ${Enter a name for the bottom goblin, if you really were three disguised goblins. Which you aren’t, honest!}. You work together as a well-drilled team, and as far as the outside world is concerned, you really are a great big humie named ${Enter a normal tall person’s name, like John Bobsmith or something. I dunno, you figure it out.}. You (singular, definitely not plural) have made your way to the grand market of Sodran. If you were three disguised goblins, you’d have an easy time making your way amongst the crowd, waving your big prominent arms around to keep people’s attention, while ${Enter a good name for the middle goblin, if there was one.} picks pockets and grabs items off low tables and shelves. But that would be silly, wouldn’t it? You’re just a big, ordinary tall human, seeing the sights and browsing. You’ve made a pretty good haul, so far, and the midsection of your trench coat is starting to bulge and clink with your ill-gotten goods, when you see one of the town guards staring in your direction. “They’re onto us! Book it!” You whisper to your legs. They start waddling in the other direction, as fast as you can.... [Click to expand]
You are ${Enter a normal tall person’s name, like John Bobsmith or something. I dunno, you figure it out.}, a completely ordinary tall human. You are dressed in a long trench coat, and a wide-brimmed hat that shadows your features. You certainly aren’t three disguised goblins, stacked on each other’s shoulders. That would be ridiculous. What even gives a person ideas like that?
Okay, okay, just between us, maybe you are three goblins in a trench coat. If you were, you’d be the one on top, and your real name would be ${character.name}. The one below you, holding up your legs, is called ${Enter a good name for the middle goblin, if there was one.}. And below that, the bottom goblin, the strong one carrying the both of you, is called ${Enter a name for the bottom goblin, if you really were three disguised goblins. Which you aren’t, honest!}. You work together as a well-drilled team, and as far as the outside world is concerned, you really are a great big humie named ${Enter a normal tall person’s name, like John Bobsmith or something. I dunno, you figure it out.}.
You (singular, definitely not plural) have made your way to the grand market of Sodran. If you were three disguised goblins, you’d have an easy time making your way amongst the crowd, waving your big prominent arms around to keep people’s attention, while ${Enter a good name for the middle goblin, if there was one.} picks pockets and grabs items off low tables and shelves. But that would be silly, wouldn’t it? You’re just a big, ordinary tall human, seeing the sights and browsing.
You’ve made a pretty good haul, so far, and the midsection of your trench coat is starting to bulge and clink with your ill-gotten goods, when you see one of the town guards staring in your direction.
“They’re onto us! Book it!” You whisper to your legs. They start waddling in the other direction, as fast as you can.
Author Notes
This is a comical fantasy story about three disguised goblins in a trench coat, wandering human lands and getting into trouble.
Memory
You are ${character.name}. You are the topmost of three disguised goblins in a trench coat, standing on each other’s shoulders. The middle goblin is named ${Enter a good name for the middle goblin, if there was one.}. The bottom goblin, who walks around, is called ${Enter a name for the bottom goblin, if you really were three disguised goblins. Which you aren’t, honest!}. The three of you are pretending to be an ordinary tall human named ${Enter a normal tall person’s name, like John Bobsmith or something. I dunno, you figure it out.}. You are thieves. You want to steal as much valuable loot from the humans as you can, eat their food and drink their liquor, and cause as much mischief as possible.
Most people will believe you when you claim to be a normal person, because the idea of three goblins in a trench coat is completely ridiculous.
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