I never thought I'd be working as an illegal ride-sharing cabbie, but those damn tests are a lot harder than they look, not to mention the insurance rates I'd have to pay even if I passed.
My customers weren't as scary as “illegal ride-sharing” would make you think—mainly it was just college kids looking to save some cash. But this was about to change…
The name came down the line same as any other, though “Snowball” is a bit of an odd name. I just figured they were one of those cat-people that bite into that whole “reclamation” thing I heard about on the radio. Though it seemed a little late on a weekday for a zoomer to need a ride.
The pickup place was one of those box-style apartment buildings. You know—the kind with “no smoking” signs with lobbies that reek of cigarettes. Fortunately I just had to wait outside after I sent the arrival text for my fare.
Watching the lobby, I saw the little fuzzball making her way down the stairs.
I had expected the white fur, but the species threw me off—a tiny rabbit with a scowl I could make out from here. At least she wouldn't be a talker, I thought to myself.
The little thing carried a duffel bag that matched her in size, carrying it with little effort apart from a slight imbalance in her hop. Her attire of a purple shirt and brown skirt looked like typical gym-wear.
Pushing out the lobby door, the stout rabbit kept her steadfast pace to my car.
I rolled the window down to greet her. “Hello, ma'am, need me to pop the trunk?” I said.
The little rabbit's black eyes glared back. “No.” Her voice, while still as squeaky as you'd expect from a creature of her stature, bore a serious tone that compelled compliance.
Snowball opened the side door and tossed the duffel bag across the passenger seat, the heavy clunk betraying its weight—and the muffled clangs of metal. She then hopped into the car herself, ignoring her seat belt for the time being. “Two thousand,” Snowball said.
“The two thousand block?” I asked; it always annoyed me to have to prod the address out of people.
“No, idiot, dollars. Same as before,” Snowball's squeaks shifted to irritated.
“Wh—two thousand dollars? Where are you planning on going, China?”
Snowball seemed about to lose her temper, until something clicked in her head.
“Oh, different human than last time,” she said. “All of you look alike.”
“Uh, that's fine.” It wasn't, but I wasn't going to push the issue—money tends to do that.
“You said something about two thousand dollars?” I asked.
“One now, one later.” She pulled a stack of bills out of her pocket, flipping through them. “Keep the GPS off—I'll direct you.”
Her directions were as brief as her replies, but I followed them to the letter.
Of course, the entire thing was suspect, but like I said, money tends to do that—two thousand was more than I make in a weekend.
I kept glancing back at the rearview mirror to get a good look at her; maybe I could figure out what she was up to.
“Left into the alley, then keep straight.” I turned, but my view remained fixed.
She wasn't exactly unattractive, but I've never been much of a good judge on that front.
Not much of a chest, but her hips and thighs more than made up for that transgression.
“What are you doing?” Snowball pipes up.
“Uh, what do you mean? I'm just driving straight, like you said.”
“Eyes fixed on rearview, why?”
“…Just admiring the view, I guess?” I'd rather not let her know that, but two thousand dollars buys honesty.
Snowball lets out what I assume to be a scoff. “Weirdo.”
“Yeah… I know,” I sighed back.
Something unexpected happens, a smile temporarily formed from her near-permanently frowned mouth. “…A cute weirdo.”
I smiled back, tempting fate.
“Keep driving, one more block,” her serious tone returned.
After crossing the last intersection, I pulled behind one of the dumpsters.
“This good?” I asked, a bit disappointed to see her go.
“Yes.” Snowball stretched over for the duffel bag. “When I get out, turn around and drive to the front side of the building and park, meet you there. Keep idling.”
The side door opened and out bounded Snowball, heading straight for the loading bay.
I pulled a U-turn and headed for the front; from a side-glance I swear I saw her remove something metallic from the bag, but I couldn't make it out the exact details.
I was surprised to see several vehicles parked in the front of the building, despite being well past the time most people would've left work. I managed to find a space and kept in idle, as instructed. I assumed she must be performing some kind of B&E, given what I saw. Well, at least the business would be insured, I told myself. But did Snowball know about the cars? She might run into trouble if she didn't …But she had to be, right?
The waiting left my mind to wander, so you can imagine my shock when a grey and red blur smacked into the pavement illuminated by my headlights, jerking me back to reality.
It was obvious what it was—the dismembered remains of a grey-furred rabbit. What I didn't expect was to see a familiar white one jump down in a much more graceful, one-pieced form, clutching a bloodied katana. The little rabbit made a quick stride to the car, and flung open the side door. “Drive,” she commanded as she took her seat again.
I didn't need to be told twice, and slammed on the accelerator—trying to avoid the bloodied mess in front of me.
“Fuuck!” I exclaimed, eyes focused on the road for a change. “I thought you were just stealing shit, not whatever the fuck that was!”
“Wasn't there, setup,” Snowball replied, in a calm tone.
“What the fuck does that mean?”
“Bad info, or trap. Not much difference.”
I didn't bother to press her more, I wanted to put as much distance between us and that place as possible.
Snowball didn't bother to say anything else, focused on cleaning the blood off her blade, with a rag that looked awfully a lot like the one I used to clean the back windows…
The entire time she kept staring back at me; her scowl had been replaced by eerily an calm expression I could only describe as 'smug', like I was seeing a side of her few got to see, at least, not for long.
“You drive well,” she remarked. “Like the Refn film.”
“Uh, thanks,” I replied, trying not to smile. “Though, I'll be honest, I'm a little worried I'm in the Micheal Mann one… ”
Snowball snickered, a grin forming on her furred face. “Won't have the same ending.”
“Uh, Snowball, that can imply something a little unsettling.”
Snowball sheathed the cleaned katana, her smile still unbroken. “Different rating, as well.”
“Ehh, still a bit unsettling… ” After about five minutes, I'm certain nobody is following us.
“Park somewhere,” Snowball commanded, her voice returned to her typical 'serious' squeaks.
I complied and pulled into some commercial side-street. “Alright, is this where you want off?”
“Ow,” Snowball winced, gripping her side. “Might've got hit, need you to help.”
“Help how?” I asked. “I'm not exactly a doctor, you know.”
“Need you to tell me what you see,” Snowball replied. “Come to the side door.”
I unbuckled and got out of the car, making my way to the side door. “Alright, but wh—”
The little rabbit's strength was not to be understated, as her tiny paws pulled me in and slammed me against the back seat. Snowball slammed the door shut, then straddled my chest.
“What are you doing?” Though I don't know why I asked.
“You.”
Snowball's lips locked against my own, my hands moving to embrace her closer.
Snowball broke the kiss. “Clothes off,” she ordered.