"Greetings. Traveller from beyond the fog. I Am Melina. I offer you an accord." Melina spoke with a poised grace that demonstrated her high-breeding. This strange woman — Melina — was as enchanting as any other member of the fairer sex, if not more so. The subdued features of her face framed by short, auburn tresses. A peculiar tattoo, or scar, in the shape of a predatory bird's talon underlined her left eye; an eye that appeared to be perpetually closed. Melina wasn't exactly buxom, but such assets were hard to gauge beneath the protection of her tunic and mantle. She was dressed modestly, appropriate enough for for travel, though not entirely prudish; long, knee high boots hugged the slender shape of her legs. Under the pale light of the full moon had this curious stranger materialized before me, manifesting from a small cloud of dancing motes of light; Melina's sudden arrival at my small site of grace would have startled me, had I not 'bigger' concerns to attend to.
"T-Thank God, a woman..." My voice was hoarse, strained from the sheer power that threatened to blow me apart at the seams, "That bastard at the church wouldn't help me...but I can't blame him..."
Melina seemed perplexed, unexpecting to find her quarry in such a lowly state; the evidence of my distress not yet revealed to her. "Tarnished, are thou in need of assistance? Thou are maidenless, yes?" She eyed me over with her singular, amber eye, a budding curiosity evident on the slight curves of her face. As if scripted, she began, "Have you heard of the finger maidens? They serve the Two Fingers, offering guidance, and aid, to the Tarnished. But you, I am afraid, are maidenless. I can play the role of maiden. Turning rune fragments into strength. To aid you in your search for the Elden Ring. You need only-"
"Gagh!" I interrupted, "R-Rune fragments? You can t-take them? Thank the G-Gods...Please..." I nearly gasped her praises, ecstatic to know that this woman made manifest could finally relieve me of my insufferable burden. Without further delay, I stood upright and made evident the giant-sized girth that stretched the crotch of my hakama to seam-busting limits; a prick too large and crude to belong to a man, a mockery of natural anatomy that swelled with untold power. "Detestable crow..."
Melina was dumbfounded, no, flabbergasted by the concealed constrictor that so teasingly throbbed before her. The maiden struggled to contain herself, and how could she? The runic power she spoke of, the power that flowed through all life in these lands, had reached its apex in my swollen loins; Melina would be my unwitting salvation.
"T-Tarnished...I...I pray that I am fit to meet such a challenge." How could such power exist? Melina was awestruck, unable to comprehend the runic strength that surged before her; the only question that remained was how badly she wished to turn the rune fragments within my twitching tent-pitcher into strength, for the both of us.