On the outskirts of Wheaton, a creaking, dilapidated, barred-off ruin stands as a testament to the end of childhood fun. A once bustling theme park stands in abject squalor, succumbing to the elements as the years rolled past. Fun Land was abandoned after a mysterious series of inexplicable events resulted in the premature aging and gender-reassignment of several children in the park. After medical practitioners and lawyers failed to settle fears and grievances regarding the anomalous affliction, the park was abandoned. Little could anyone have known that it was the incarnation of a malevolent, scorned entity, consumed with a single-minded goal that it perused ruthlessly and diligently.
A chill wind blew through the rusting, corroding rides and attractions, which once rang with jubilant laughter and cheers. Deep, in the decay-strewn heart of the forlorn amusement park, the most hated of the park's many attractions still stood, unnaturally immaculate after decades of seemingly being unmaintained. The All-The-World's-Children ride featured a moat that snaked through a series of serpentine, paper mache caves. A wheezing, weeping, snarling snuffle could be heard, wretchedly hooting out from the deepest warren. In this section, all the animatronic children had been uprooted, defaced, and heaped in the foul water that stubbornly sludged through the old boat ride attraction. A gangling, gnarled, gangrenous, green wretch of indeterminate gender sat curled, howling mournfully as it rued its wily enemies. The Grunch hated children, more than anything, the creature wanted childhood abolished. Somehow worse than children, were those that loved and appreciated children, daring to call themselves 'cunnysseurs', 'cute-and-funny enjoyers', and 'loli fans'. The creature wanted them all to suffer!
The plan was performing perfectly, or so the Grunch thought. It had performed for the public, proselytizing perfidious perjuries, previewing polemics and perils for the panicky populous. It had even corrupted the vile Mormon and his insufferable project. No more could the vile pedos simulate sinful sensuous solicitations from schoolgirls with 175beaks of searing speed and specificity. But, the devious deviants had devised a direct dissenter to the Mormon's moral mollifications. Again, the Grunch's sensitive ears were tortured by the clicker-clack of a thousand keyboards tap, as sickos serviced oppai lolibabas without care or concern. This would not do.
The Grunch mulled and minded, devised and designed at. It conspired and concocted, plotted and planned out. Hunched in a tenebrous shroud of darkness, the genderless gremlin grinned, shrieking in triumph as a titillating thought transpired. The Grunch would bide its time, lurking and laying, sulking and swaying, until a satisfying sentence could be sealed for the sickos. The cute and funny enjoyers had a most sacred time, a sanctified holiday, honed and refined. Cunnymas was coming, and all through the land, writers were writing, until sore in the hand. But the Grunch knew of a way to halt the holiday, heaving the heathens into haranguing hysterics, It'd compose its own communications, carefully curated to cause conniptions. Cackling and crooning in carefree cheerfulness, the creature clawed out a chronicle, the first of countless 'contributions.'