Kaitlyn chuckled while she walked down the sidewalk, tossing around one of the many crappy light pucks she had been selling to the gullible suburbanites that called this place home.
The green-scaled lizard had grown up a helpless hatchling on the streets, scraping by a merger existence anyway she could—like the little LED puck in her clawed grip. They called them Lizard Lights, a name Kaitlyn assumed was due to the tacky plastic scales etched onto them, or perhaps it was because of the magnet on the underside. The strange spokesperson who hired her insisted she was the 'perfect fit' to sell hundreds of these expensive road safety devices, but the man gave her nothing but a few easy sales pitches, and promised 'the light would do the rest'. Kaitlyn didn't understand how a gimmicky flare replacement would 'sell itself' but she hadn't gotten any complaints about her numbers yet.
Kaitlyn knocked on the front door of the next house on her route, trying to keep her knock as meek sounding as possible to not sound like one of those door-to-door religious nuts. She patted out the wrinkles in her suit jacket and cleared her throat as muffled footsteps approached. The door swung open to reveal a disheveled human in his mid-fifties, his grizzled beard covered the lower half of his weathered face. Fine wrinkles creased the corners of his eyes, their leering already told her what was going to happen next. Kaitlyn shoved her knee to the door frame as the wooden door slammed against it—pain was temporary, the sale was forever. "Hello, sir, beautiful day isn't it?" Kaitlyn flashed a sharp-toothed grin through the door crack as the man stared back with an air of hatred in his eyes.
"No, I don't want to buy anything you're selling. get your Jurassic Park-looking ass off my property."
Kaitlyn held back a laugh, as she hadn't heard that slur before. "I just need two minutes, sir." Kaitlyn's swift kick sent the door careening open, which caused the man to jerk back in fright.
She held her claws to her hips in a proud pose before she pulled out a Lizard Light from her jacket pocket.
"Today may be your last opportunity to score this incredible merchandise: the Lizard Light!" Kaitlyn had intoned this phrase so often she felt like a broken record at this point.
The man attempted to regain his composure. "You got some nerve, scalie, why I—" but Kaitlyn didn't let up.
"Yes, my friend, many varied economic factors have led to this being the final production month of this fantastic item any household needs"—Kaitlyn held up the Lizard Light—"for you see, this device is much safer compared to dangerous road flares, it has 360 degrees of coverage and over fifteen high intensity LEDs—it even has a magnet to attach it to the roof of any automobile!"
The man had a seething expression building upon his face. "You stupid scalie solicitors think you can come into honest folks neighborhoods' and… nobody even uses roadside flares!"
Kaitlyn shrugged with a smug expression. "Of course not, because everyone's switched to the amazing Lizard Light; I can guarantee you 12 units for the low price of ninety-nine dollars, I'll even throw in one of the deluxe models—which comes with a built-in 500 lumen flashlight!" Kaitlyn brandished the puck towards the man, alternately flashing it on and off, eliciting violent convulsions from him which she found amusing.
"AUUUUGH!" he cried out in pain, hands clung over his eyes as he stumbled around.
"Eh?" Kaitlyn ended her routine at last, looking down at the device in dismay. There's no way a 500 lumen LED could damage someone's eyes after such short exposure, but then again she never flashed someone's face with one before. She pocketed the Lizard Light and guided the man to his kitchen sink to rinse his eyes, a practice she was sure did nothing for light damage but she couldn't think of anything else right now.
"Listen up, you speceist coot—I'm willing to share half of my earnings with you today, and there's no way you're making me lose my job. You got that?" Kaitlyn demanded vehemently as the man lifted his gaze from the sink, his pupils fully blown.
The man's face no longer had any hint of hatred on it, instead it was one of complete captivation—a smile lined his bearded face. "No, I could never take such kindness from the loveliest reptile in existence," the man uttered, as he stretched his hand towards her flat bosom.
Kaitlyn was so shocked that she couldn't resist when his hand made contact with her shirt, and the comforting mammalian heat radiating through the material was unmistakable. She grabbed the man's hand and pushed it away from as she sighed, "Now it makes sense why they thought I was the perfect fit to sell these things, it fucking brainwashes people into worshiping lizards—no wonder they refused to sell these on Amazon!" She growled at the thought of how many lost sales she had over the months—all this time she had the solution in her claws!
The man still stared at her with complete devotion; he rubbed where her hand had connected with blissful content.
"Hmm, I wonder how long you'll stay like this," Kaitlyn shook her head in pity, "and would you really do anything I ask?"
The man nodded in glee. "Anything, my squamous goddess."
A broad smile spread across Kaitlyn's snout as she considered her various options.