My name is Bear Grylls. I've served with the British Special Forces, I've climbed to the summit of Everest, and crossed the frozen oceans of the Arctic. Now, I'm going to show how to survive one of the most treacherous landscapes on Earth: The Monstergirl Savanna.
Every year, hundreds of tourists visit this untamed wilderness, in hopes of getting a glimpse of the region's famous giraffe-girls, elephant-girls, or even the dreaded lion-girls. In 2020 alone, over 9000 lives were lost due to the harsh conditions and lack of respect towards the wildlife.
I'll be putting myself in the position of someone stranded out in the Savanna and show you some of the techniques you can use to survive in these conditions until you find help.
As usual, I'll be parachuting in!
"Woo hoo," I scream as I tumble from the plane.
Already the heat and dryness of the air is apparent as my chute unfurls and I begin my descent. As I touch down in the patchy grass, I see my film crew isn't far behind. Once everyone is ready to go, I signal for us to set out.
The first order of business is to determine my bearings. Out here in the Savanna, the conditions are harsh, and I need to focus on finding help. I know that to the West is Nelsonville, the closest thing to civilization in this untamed land. Using the Sun as a guide, I'm able to roughly gauge my position, but there are miles and miles or arid grassland between me and safety.
It's the dry season and water is in short supply. I won't make it long out here without something to drink. Simply put, I need fluid in me and that's a top priority.
As I march, the heat begins have an effect on me. I slow my pace to avoid heat stroke, when i catch a glimpse of something at a nearby tree.
"Look there!" I motion to the film crew.
Standing beneath a tree, pulling down leaves with her long, purple, prehensile tongue is a giraffe-girl. The distinct reticulated pattern on her bare buttocks lets me know she's a mature female. I cautiously approach.
As I get near, her long neck turns and she faces me.
"Hello miss," I say in a low, yet confident tone. "I'm Bear Grylls. I'm traveling to Nelsonville, but I don't have any water. Could I perhaps quench my thirst with