The ride is quiet, or at least as quiet as the ride on a horse carriage can be, with all the hooves hitting the ground and wheels creaking and all that. Despite the ride being several hours long so far, the rider never once initiated conversation or even responded to me, and at this point I've given up. Instead, I decide to remember just what it was that got me to this point. Ever since my youth, I didn't fit in with the rest of the royal family. Prince Pansy, they'd call me. This entire kingdom is a realm of complete barbarians, with might making right and any sort of disagreements generally solved with combat. Meanwhile, I am a soft, creative soul, and the reckoning regarding that had been a long time coming. I was put to an ultimatum: Go out in war and kill some people, or give up my title and retire to a remote monastery. And I picked the latter, which now places me on this carriage on my way there.
Thankfully, after what seemed to be an eternity, including a particularly long stretch of riding through a thick forest, we finally reach the end of it and the copious amount of trees gives way to a wide plain. And there, in reach now and just before the ocean, is the monastery. Just as I try to make out some details, I am unceremoniously shoved off the carriage and land with my face in the grass. So as I lay there, I consider just whether this is my least dignified moment or not. Well, it's not like I got to keep any of the nice clothes I used to have, so at least nothing important got dirty. I get up, wipe some of the dirt off, and make my way down the path.
After a few minutes of walking, I finally approach the monastery, and spot someone standing outside the walls, waving and walking towards me. Looking at him, something strikes me—good lord, is he pretty. With beautiful looking long blonde hair and a soft smile on his face, I certainly am feeling welcomed right about now. "Welcome! You must be Brother James, a messenger came by a week or so ago announcing that you would come today. Again, welcome to our humble monastery! I am Brother Andrew, and I will be the one to guide you here until you get used to our customs." he explains once we get close enough to each other.
Ah, right, I suppose I really am no longer a royal. Just Brother James from now on... I suppose I can get used to that. Sounds nice. The two of us get the introductions and such over with, and he then leads me on a guided tour of the entire monastery plus some of the surrounding terrain. Honestly, the entire place looks great. It's entirely self-sufficient with gardens growing food, a nearby well providing water, and beer brewing done by the monks as well. With how far away from any sort of other civilization it is, I suppose it makes sense, and that would mean that I could finally go about my creative endeavors in peace. Maybe I'll actually be really happy here.
***
It's been a week now, and while I am fitting in well, there is a bit of a troubling thing going on. Well, two things working in tandem. One: The monks are all really pretty. I don't get it, but everybody here looks better than any man I've ever seen before. And two: They have no shame. Every day, I at the very least see some monks working in the gardens shirtless, some relaxing on the grass in nothing but underwear, and sometimes some swimming completely nude in the ocean. These two factors come together to greatly cause me distress. Not because I dislike it, no, but because I like it. A lot. But I can't tell them... monks should be all about celibacy and all that, I can't tell them "hey, I think everybody in this monastery is the hottest thing I've ever seen". Instead, I keep everything locked up inside, and I think it's starting to get to me. And so that's why I am now laying on my bed, pressing my pillow to my face and trying desperately to think of disgusting things so my erection goes away. I'm sure they know at this point that I'm cracking up, because just a moment ago, I spotted one of the monks washing himself in a tub right out in the open, and the water glistening on his immaculate body just got me so turned on that I went bright red and ran away. I'm sure they know.
Sure enough, there's a knock on the door of my room. Nothing here is ever locked, so whoever it is just lets themselves in. "Something is wrong, Brother James." I can tell from the voice it's Brother Andrew. The one that has taken care of me this entire week, always patient and helpful. And he doesn't ask, he just states it, because we both know. I hear him walk across the room and sit down on a chair. "If there's anything you want to say... I'll listen."
A moment of silence follows, and it weighs heavily on me. This can't go on, I have to come clean. Pulling the pillow from my face and looking at him, I confess. "I... I lust after all of you. Every last one of you is beautiful to me, and I can feel myself falling deeper and deeper into desire."
Many emotions cross over Brother Andrew's face, but eventually, it seems to settle into sadness. "Ah... I made a mistake. I shouldn't have lied to you. ...come, follow me. I have to show you something," he says, and I do follow him along. He leads me through the halls of the monastery and to the library. Particularly, he leads me to the section he specifically told me not to go to before. He turns to me, a kind smile on his angelic face. "Alright, I think it's time for me to come clean. Here... look through this bookcase. Then you will see." And as I skim the names on the spines of the books, I truly see. They're all about homosexual relationships. Turning to face him again, wanting to ask for an explanation, he simply reaches into the bookcase, pulling out a tome entitled "The Divinity of Male Love".
"We... have diverged from the main church somewhat. I first thought it would be wise to keep this a secret from you as not to scare you. But now it's clear that keeping this secret has caused you harm, and so I will come clear. We have come to believe that the love between two men is the most holy and pure thing there is, and as such, we engage in it frequently. And it seems you too have interests in this. So, let's read together. I will show you what we believe, and later... well, we'll find something to do, I think." he explains, that gentle smile never wavering. The two of us sit down on a nearby table, and we begin to read together.