"We all know why we are here?" I ask my friends, Jayden, Elliott and Tyler as they sit themselves down on cushions in the treehouse I built in the woods behind my house. It's a large space, almost as big as my living room at home. And best of all, it's private as nobody ever comes into this patch of woodland.
"Yes Cassian, we're here to listen to you tell the story of how you were the biggest cock sucking whore in school... again..." Jayden says with a sigh.
"No, I said we were here to share the stories of our sexual awakenings. In my case, this happened years before the story you're on about." I tell the other three.
My friends shift in their cushions as they try to get comfortable. They're clearly interested in what I'm going to tell them, but they're also nervous after hearing that this story starts long before the one I usually tell.
"So... how old were you when this happened? When you first found out that you were gay?" Elliott asks.
"I was just five." I reply.
"Five? Fucking hell Cassian, that's fucked up, even for you." Tyler exclaims.
"Yes, it is a fucked up story, but I'm still going to tell it." I begin. Taking a moment to gather my thoughts, I begin to recount my tale.
***
I remember well what happened that night. It was a dark, cold November and I went to bed shortly after dinner, deeply disappointed. My father had promised to spend some time with me after work, playing games with me or reading me stories. But instead, after we finished eating he left the house to go down the pub.
Hours later, I wake up with bleary eyes as my bedroom light is switched on, dazzling me. When I adjust to the sudden brightness, I see my father staggering through the doorway, totally inebriated.
"He... Hello shon." He says to me, slurring hos words. "Daddy'sh going to shpend shome time with you."
I don't understand what he means by that. Looking at my Micky Mouse clock, I see it's almost 1 in the morning.
"Daddy please, not now." I whine, my voice tinged with tiredness.
But my father either didn't hear me or just ignored me, because I hear him taking off his clothes before getting into bed with me. Just as I'm starting to drift off back to sleep, I'm jolted awake by my father roughly pulling off my pajama bottoms and underwear.