Your name is Anon-53, a low-level Archon on the 5th mental plane. Due to a recent lull in self-acquired fetishes on the material plane, you have been given the role of assigning them at random to humans in the physical world.

You activate your screen and select a human at random. The screen shifts focus as it locates your first subject; a mild-mannered woman, riding a bus. You can see from the look on her face that she had just a very long day at work and is more interested in getting home, eating, and sleeping than anything else. This is exactly the kind of problem your supervisors have chosen you to solve.

With a few deft clicks, you scan the contents of her brain and see she has nothing that could even generously considered a sexual fetish. You look down at your list of fetishes to assign and decide 'public masturbation' would be appropriate.

With a few more clicks, the adjustment is made. You watch the screen with satisfaction as the look on her face changes from a dull malaise to surprise, and finally to arousal. You watch as she stealthily slides her hand into her pants.

Satisfied with your work, you return to look at the list of fetishes your supervisor has instructed you to distribute. There are quite a few left: