The sun is barely rising as I pull into the parking lot. There it stands, the new chain restaurant that opened just a week ago, from a brand called "Buttons" that has been a recent sensation all across the country. I've read listicles online placing it as the hottest new culinary experience that everybody should check out immediately, while staying coy about just what it is that makes it so good—surely to drive engagement, or possibly because they were paid by the company to build tension and curiosity. No matter what exactly the purpose behind them was, they've definitely achieved their goal, because they've made me exceptionally curious as to just what all the fuss is about. Of course, since I'm a bit of an awkward guy that doesn't really do well with full restaurants, I decide to show up early in the morning. The place is open all day long, so I can hopefully just get in, see what's what, have my breakfast, and get out without much issue.

Sure enough, when I step inside, there's nobody else there, all the tables are empty. The atmosphere is quiet, a slight bit of noise coming from the kitchen, but that's about it. Looking around the place, it looks just a bit more upscale than your usual diner-type chain restaurant, though it's nothing luxurious or anything like that. You can definitely tell that this is a chain and that you're not going to get fine dining here, so I'm not sure what exactly the big deal about this place is. However, that question is answered quite quickly when a waitress steps out from the kitchen. For a moment, I think her to be a woman, but he's definitely a girl. Long, blonde hair that hangs down all the way to her exposed midriff, wearing a tight crop top that gives a tantalizing view of her trim, tight abs, as well as short shorts that show off her plump thighs... god, this girl is hot as hell. "Hey, hun, welcome to Buttons! Is it your first time here? C'mon, lemme show ya to your table... I promise your first time is gonna be great!" she says, her voice smooth as silk, but carrying just an ever so slight suggestive tone. Or am I just imagining that because of how pretty she is?

It takes a moment for me to shake myself out of my stupor and trot along as the waitress brings me to my table, where I dumbly sit down, largely trying not to stare. She hands me the menu with a smile, saying, "Someone'll be with ya in a bit, kay?" before she practically skips off. In fact, I could swear she wiggles her butt as she heads back to the kitchen... but that's just my imagination, right? To take my mind off of things, I read through the menu, particularly the breakfast menu, and the offerings seem rather standard. Your usual eggs, sausage, hash browns, pancakes... the real draw here must be the service.

Before I can even decide, another waitress shows up to my table, just as striking as the first one, though this one has black hair and a softer appearance than the fit one earlier. Just as pretty, though. "Welcome to Buttons, hun, what can I getcha?" she asks me.

I'm caught off guard, and not quite sure what to say, so instead of ordering, I blurt out a question that had been on my mind. "Um, why's this place called Buttons, anyway?"

The waitress, for her part, doesn't seem fazed at all, and instead strikes a little pose while coyly sticking out her tongue. "Cuz we're all cute as a button, hun!" she says, before giving me a gentle smile. God, she really is cute, and these waitresses really are sending me into a panic at this point, because it seems every last one of them here is just absolutely up my alley. In reaction to my awkward fidgeting, she just keeps talking. "Well, hun, if ya want my recommendations, my taco is the specialty, and I've got this special sauce for ya that is just divine... and if ya wanna, I'll make it for ya right at your table..."

Oh god, I'm not just imagining this. These waitresses are making way too many allusions for this to be a coincidence—they're trying to seduce me! And the hell of it is that the thought of seeing this girl produce some, er, "special sauce" for me is really hot. Again, I find myself a bit dumbstruck, just nodding to that offer. The waitress giggles softly, replying "Alright, hun, I'll get that ready for ya. I'll be right back with your food, so just keep your cute butt seated, alright?" before heading off, leaving me stewing in my confusion. What's going to arrive at my table? And all the while, I can't help but wonder if this is what's so special about this restaurant... the waitresses that hit on the customers at every opportunity.

And as if to answer my question, the waitress returns, sashaying up to my table, not carrying any food. "Well, hun, it'll take a bit longer for your food to be done... but how 'bout I give ya a free sample to tide ya over?" she says, not giving me any time to respond before she leans down, gently kissing me.