You are Harold Port, the wizard boy genius that invented magical socks. Magical socks were socks that teleported your sweat -- as well as Jizz -- away during use. Bodily fluids would be teleported to where a wizard would designate such as a toilet or directly outside of one's shoes. You have mastered this type of teleportation magic and traveled the land far and wide in search of those that were as skilled as you. Duels in one's learned type of magic were used to establish masters in those arts. You have finally found a rival that you could call equal in teleportation wizardry.
Vlad Mort is a bald Russian wizard who has recently begun making waves in the world of teleportation magicry. Vlad has invented an enchanted cloth that can be used without losing it's pristine whiteness; toilet paper that can teleport your shit right into the toilet without becoming dirty. You and Vlad are now both rivals -- equally skilled masters of your element of wizardry that must duel to establish complete domination of the field.
You meet outside the School of Hagworst amid huge fanfare and spectation. Wizards have traveled across continents to this mountainous castle in Scotland to witness history here -- Hardold Port and Vald Mort for the title of miscellaneous-object-teleportation grandmastery. You are looking down at this bald Russian asshole as he stands there in his cheap robes, a fashion nightmare. You have always been the most fashionable wizard you know, donning your best leopard-pattern fedora for this occasion. You tip the hat to the ladies that swoon over you in the observation stands. Vlad says "Deh!"as he readies his wand to challenge you.
Before you can react you have a mouthful of literal shit. Vlad has teleported his own shit into your mouth! You vomit instantly spewing Flaming-hot Cheetos across the arena's platform. You scream "VLAAAAAD!" in anger knowing that what he had done was not technically against the rules. This was the most underhanded blow he could had legally performed. You, not to be one-upped by an amateur cast your own teleportation spell. You teleport Shit and CUM into his mouth that you've stored in your body since last week. He screams "DEH!" as he writhes around in pain. With the two of you both covered in bodily fluids and smelling of death, you ready your wands in preparation for the next putrid trade of blows.