I thought this was going to be the first step in getting my life back under control, but now it seems like that decision just made things worse. It all started about a month ago, when my office job announced they would be "downsizing to fit the situation of the economy" or some other corporate bullshit. The result being that half the people at the company, including myself, would be fired immediately and due to loopholes in the laws wouldn't have to pay any severance. That turned my financial situation from precarious to disastrous, and then one week later things would get even worse. In my disheveled state, I made the mistake of confessing my worries to my parents, and that included the confusion about my sexuality that I had been developing over the last year. Well, that led to them disowning me on the spot and completely severing all contact with me, including access to the communal bank account that I had been putting most of my money into. So that turned my situation from disastrous to apocalyptic, and suddenly I went from having a boring, yet steady job and a family that would help me out to being completely alone and staring down the barrel of homelessness in the middle of winter.
It was in this desperate situation where I was searching through my belongings for anything I could sell to try and get just a bit of extra cash in that I found them. A stack of DVDs that I remembered borrowing from my old friend Heath nearly two years ago. I had mostly lost contact with Heath at that point, not intentionally, mind, we just kind of naturally drifted apart after we left school. Still, I had his address and phone number, and so I got this idea that these DVDs would be the first step in getting everything back under control. I would bring these DVDs back to him, and I would prove to myself that I wasn't a complete fuckup. So I called him up, arranged for a time when I could drop by, and I started making the hour long trip to the village he lives in. About half an hour into the trip, the snow started coming down, and I started to wonder if this was going to be a problem, but I pressed on. After all, I had gotten myself into the state of mind that this was the first step to fixing my life, so I couldn't back out now.
And so now, I'm sitting on Heath's couch, listening to the radio announce that record snow falls are expected and it would take several days for it to stop and the roads to be cleared. This is a complete and total disaster for me, because now I'm going to lose several precious days I could have used to try and get another job and not get evicted. As I sit there, stewing in my despair, Heath returns from the kitchen, carrying two mugs of hot chocolate with a cheery smile on his face. "Oh, looks like you'll be stuck here for a bit, but I have a guest room you can stay in, so it'll be fine. It'll be like that sleepover we always wanted to have when we were younger but never managed to have!" he says as he sets the mugs down on the table. But when he does that, he seems to notice the depressed look on my face, as the smile vanishes off his face as well. "Hey... what's wrong, Miles? Do you want to talk about it? We've got a few days to ourselves now because of this snow, so if you want to talk, I'll listen. I've known you for so many years now and you've been such a good friend, listening is the least I can do to repay you, right?" he asks, putting his hand on my shoulder.
I have to suppress a chuckle. I've been a good friend to him? He's just saying that to make me feel better. If anything, I'm the one that has to repay him. All the time I've known Heath, he's always been the helpful one, the one that I felt I didn't deserve. But then, that's just who Heath is. Even when we were in first grade and he'd let me copy his homework for most of the year, he never asked for anything in return. All those memories come back to me, and combined with the genuine concern in his voice, I feel myself getting completely disarmed. Deep inside, I don't want to burden him with my problems, but at the same time I just want to pour my heart out to him, seeing him as my last hope.
Then everything happens so quickly. Before I even know what's happening, Heath is sitting next to me, his arm wrapped around my shoulder and listening as I bawl my eyes out, babbling incoherently as I try to get comprehensible words out and fail. But as the moments go on, I manage to calm down just enough to be able to speak again, and I tell him everything. My firing, getting disowned for wondering if I might be gay, my disastrous finances, the prospect of living out of my car, the constant nightmares, living every day wondering if I might be dead a month from now, even all the weird feelings I've gotten just looking at him and how pretty he is... every last bit of it. Somewhere in that outpouring, I end up moving from sitting next to him to sitting on his lap, with him now fully embracing me. I don't know how this happened, but I don't care. It feels nice being held by him.
All the while, he simply listens, occasionally interjecting with soft, comforting words. And once I finish talking, he falls into a deep silence, and I can tell he's processing every last bit of information I've told him. After a few moments of quiet, his response comes, and it comes so easily: "I'll take you in." At first, I don't even process it. I'm sure I must have misheard. But then he continues. "You're staying with me from now on. Once the snow clears, we'll drive over to your place, pick up everything you want to keep, we'll bring it over here, and you'll move in with me. I'll take care of everything, as long as you need me." I still can't believe it. He's saying all this so easily, like he's just letting me copy his homework again or something. And he can tell I'm not believing him yet, so he gently moves my head until I'm looking right into his eyes. "Miles. I'm rich. I can afford to support you as long as you need. What kind of friend would I be if my dear childhood friend comes to my door suffering and I don't do everything I can to help him?"
He's right, of course. Heath was always the rich kid, his parents being pharma bigwigs. He's never worked a day in his life and never will need to. Whatever he'd need to spend in supporting me is pocket change for him. As the situation sets in for me, I can feel a smile coming to my face, and that causes him to smile as well. "There's that smile I want to see. We'll get your life back on track, together. Now..." Heath says, his hand moving to gently caress my cheek. "...what was that about me being pretty? You know, I've always liked you, Miles. When I said I'll take care of everything, that includes helping you figure out your sexuality. So... what do you want to try?"