The man ran over his image in the mirror again. Hair looked good, shirt is clean, fly is zipped. He brushed a non-existent speck off his shoulder and breathed in deeply. Then he grabbed a pair of purple latex gloves sitting on the dresser in front of him. After making sure they were snugly on his hands he picked up a cellphone attached to a selfie-stick. Right, game time.
3... 2... 1...
"Hey, what's up Youtube? It's The Backyard Medic here with another crazy video! I'm so excited to show you guy's what's just come in, I think it's gonna be an incredible new project, but first I wanna tell you about today's sponsor: Honey."
The man continued with his ad-read as he walked down a grimy concrete hallway. The entire time he maintained a broad grin, flashing a straight row of dazzlingly white teeth. He walked around several corners before pushing through a set of double doors that led outside.
"...so make sure to check out the link in the description below. Also, be sure to like this video and subscribe if you aren't already, so you too can be a member of the Medic Team! Right, so before we get to the main event I wanted to update you guys on our boat situation."
Here he turned the camera away from his face and out onto a small pond. In the center floated what looked like a couple of wooden canoes tied together, one on top of the other.
"There she is, right where we left her. Let's reel her in and see how it's going."
Walking over to the water's edge the man grabbed a rope attached to a small post and began pulling. A few seconds of grunting ensued as he heaved the boats to shore. Then:
"Ohhh, man you can definitely hear it, there's definite activity going on."
The camera's view jostled around for a second then focused on the boats.
"Look at that! Wow!"
Strapped face down in between the two boats, moving softly, soaked in muddy water, and moaning ever so slightly, was a human woman. Flies and other insects flew around her and the boats, emitting a loud buzzing hum.
"Oh, geez it smells terrible."
The man knelt down near the woman. She didn't seem to acknowledge his presence: she simply stared blankly at the ground and continued making pathetic sounds.
"Yea — oh god — yeah it's definitely progressed since we've last checked on her. Oh man, you guys have no idea how bad this smells. I don't think I can even stand here for much longer. But of course we gotta check out what's going on inside."
So saying the man shoved the camera in between the two boats, where the woman lay. At first the scene was pitch black, but then a flashlight turned on, revealing a truly grotesque scene. A myriad of bugs covered the woman's entire back. Huge chunks of flesh were missing from her legs and torso — the insects gathered with even greater density in these cavities. Her buttocks were covered in feces, which of course had its own layer of flies feasting on the excrement.
"Holy crap! That is something else. Just look at that."
A latex-gloved hand reached and brushed some insects aside. Underneath maggots writhed in the open wound.
"Oh, man. That is GRODY!"
As he poked around the woman gave some dull cries, but she made no attempt to move against her restraints. Then the camera rattled around as the man pulled it out of the boats.
"Man guys, that is incredible, but I'm seriously gonna have to take a step back and get some fresh air because believe me it smells like death in there."
He kicked the boat off to float lazily back to the center of the pond with its doomed occupant still whimpering.
"Okay guys, phew, that was nuts! I don't think she'll last too much longer, but what do you think? Leave a comment below for how many days you think it'll take before she's out."
The man walked backed into the grimy building, but this time took a different path into a new room.
"Right, so now for the main event! I just got this one in today, and it's something I've been wanting to do for a while now. Check it out:"
The camera turned from the man's smiling face to a shot of a morbidly obese woman strapped down to two surgical tables. She appeared to be more lucid than the previous woman, as she strained against her binds and made muffled yelling noises behind a ball gag.
"Everyone, meet Kelly. She's 32 years old, five foot six, and weighs in at a whopping 648 pounds! Now Kelly here has been thinking for a long time that she'd like to lose a bit of the weight, so I thought we could help her out here, Backyard Medic style!"
From the bottom of the frame rose a hand carrying a bone saw.