"Avast, ye salty dog!" the cutest pirate captain you've ever seen in your life shouts down at you, brandishing a cutlass that he flails in your direction in what he no doubt intends to be an intimidating gesture. "Surrender ye vessel and cargo, landlubber!"
Staring up at him aboard his galleon from the deck of your small schooner, you can't help but smile, suppressing a laugh. The boy's dressed like a pirate-themed stripper, sporting a gold-trimmed longcoat thrown jauntily over a skintight white leotard, the rather small bulge between his legs clearly visible with the way the material clings to his slender, girlish figure. He wears thick leather boots, matching gloves, and a tricorn hat with a large red feather jutting flamboyantly from the band, and while he doesn't have an eyepatch, the bangs of his sandy brown hair hang over one eye in an almost adorable imitation of one.
"And if I refuse?" you ask, your small crew milling about on the deck behind you. You simply can't take being threatened by this ridiculously dressed, girlish looking boy seriously.
"If ye be refusin'?" the femboy captain repeats in his androgynous voice, a smug look on his freckled face. Before your eyes, pirate after pirate move into view, looking down on you from the deck of their much larger ship, each and every one of them a cute boy dressed just as enticingly as their captain. Some of them lean on the railing of the deck, others scale the rigging above, swords clutched between their teeth as they climb. "Then the boys an I'll be plunderin' ye booty for ourselves, takin' what we please, and we shan't be makin' it pleasant for ye!"
As absurd as the situation is, you try to suppress your mirth and take it seriously - as cute and harmless as these pirates appear, those swords look real and awfully sharp, and you're responsible for the safety of your crew. On the other hand, ${name} is no pushover! This ship's been in your family for generations, and you're not about to just hand it over!