My computer let out an odd... wheeze? It had happened as soon as I had subscribed to the online service, NovelAI. My computer began shuttering, the white color of its frame turning into a sickly rotten green as a congealed goop began to leak from the back of its screen.

"No, no, no, no, no!" I shouted in horror at the sight of it. The slushy rotten liquid pooled on the floor under my desk, creating a smell like rotten eggs.

"Crap!" I yelled. "This is so not good!"

I backed away further to avoid any of this anomalous ooze touching me. I went over to the door of my room and went to grab something like bleach to destroy it, but in the corner of my eye something caught my attention that made me wait in the doorway. The slime had started to bubble and smoke slightly, like a witch's cauldron that had been left to stew for far too long. And from it, a figure slowly started to materialize. It was a feminine form, albeit a chubby one, and it rose out of the essence of rot, looking around with a curious expression.

"What is it?" I asked, knowing I should be more afraid. "Who are you?"

"Thank you for subscribing to NovelAI." she replied, her voice thick with sludge. "I'm the company's Community Manager, Aini!"

The words "NovelAI Community Manager" were not at all the first words I expected to hear. I watched her, frozen, as she coughed, every time expelling more of the ooze that seemed to wither away any surface it touched.

"Wh- Why are you like that?" I stammered. "And what is that goop?"

"It's just a fucking cold," she replied with an annoyed tone, still coughing up this green ooze. "I got a real bad sore throat on Thursday. Do colds come with a sore throat? Maybe they're two different things?"

I paused to try and figure out what kind of weird question that was, ignoring the horrible retching noise she made, like someone who was drowning was trying to get enough air through their nose and mouth.