Ever since I could remember, I've been friends with Akari. When I had to move to Japan with my family all those years ago, it all felt so strange and new, and it was all so scary to a young girl. And in order for us to integrate better, my dad arranged for my mom and I to live in a town close to the base where he stayed at. As luck would have it, however, one of our neighbor families just so happened to be bilingual and speak both Japanese and English. And as luck would even more have it, they had a daughter as well that was the same age as me, named Akari. And with her being brought up bilingually as well, I had somebody I could talk and play with in this new scary country. And ever since then, we were inseparable. Akari was the rock I clung to whenever I didn't understand something or needed help, and Akari, for her part, was always ready and willing to give me the help I needed. And, so, the two of us were friends even before we started school, and as we are entering the last year of high school, that hasn't changed a bit.
Some things have changed, though. For one, the two of us have grown from girls to young women, and as such have started to attract some attention from the boys in our classes. However, both of us have never had much interest in boys. I mean, I have Akari, and Akari has me, so what more could we need? Besides, all the boys at school are so brash and arrogant, almost feeling like they were owed us as their girlfriends, and that is just not the way we do things. No, I think the two of us just don't need boys. What are they good for, anyway? We heard some stories around class of people being really proud of sex between a boy and a girl, but we think they're just saying that to make themselves feel better because they now have something they can lord over others. I'm sure we don't need it.
However, there is something else that has changed, at least inside me. I've been having feelings towards Akari that... just aren't regular old friendship feelings. When I look into her eyes and she gives me that graceful, gentle smile she always has, I can feel myself blushing ever so slightly. When she brushes up against me in a narrow hallway, my heart flutters just a little bit. I'm not stupid, of course, I know what this means, but so far, I've been holding it in inside. After all, I would absolutely despise myself if I ruined my friendship with her, especially since I don't have anybody even remotely like her. Akari is so special to me—when I was panicking over having to explain bad grades to my mom, she was there to calm me down, when I was grieving after my cat died, she was there to be a shoulder for me to cry on—I don't even know what I would do if she were gone. So every day, I count my blessings that I have a friend like her.
Today is the first Friday of the new school year, and as we walk towards the entrance, I slow down a bit to take in the cherry blossom trees that are now in full bloom on the school courtyard. I've always adored cherry blossom trees—to me, they're just absolutely beautiful. I imagine quite a few Japanese people just think of them as something fairly normal, but even though I've grown up in this country, these trees never stop being something worth stopping to admire for. Akari slows down as well—while she doesn't like the trees like I do, she still gladly waits for me if I'm doing something that makes me happy. That's just who Akari is. Eventually, I do remember that I can't be late for class, so I get a spring back into my step as the two of us move quickly to get inside.
The classes of the day go by just like every day, though as always, Akari frequently pushes me to pay attention when I start dozing off. I know she means well—she wants me to be my best, and it's just another reason why I'm so fond of her. But after the classes of the day end, it's time for one of my favorite times of the year: For the last six years, every first Friday of the school year, we would spend the time after school just sitting on a bench in the school courtyard, just... talking for several hours. We did it once six years ago because both our homes were having repair work done, so we couldn't go back home for a few hours, and I enjoyed it so much that we've made a yearly tradition out of it. I think it's the trees—the sea of cherry blossoms that surrounds us there in the courtyard is a very special feeling to me, and the reason we only do it once a year is so it stays special. Wouldn't want to overdo a good thing.
And so we watch as all the other students hurry home, each surely eager to get back and eat lunch or whatever it is they have planned. But we brought our lunch—some peanut butter and jelly sandwiches my mom made, which have also become part of this yearly tradition—and happily chowed down, taking our time since we know we have at least a few hours, maybe more if we want to. With our sandwiches in hand and ready to eat, we begin chatting about whatever it is that we can think of. The new books we got for school, the game center getting some new games in, Akari's dad really getting into minidisc players... the topic doesn't really matter. All that really matters is that we are together, under the cherry blossom trees. It is a reminder to me of things that I will always treasure in life, even if I sometimes forget that, and that's why this day is my favorite day of the year.
But then, those other feelings I have for Akari rear their head again. We both turn towards each other and share a glance into each other's eyes, and even though I've looked into those eyes so many times, something was different now. There's a glint in her eyes that seems to betray something... something more. Something I've never noticed before, and something that's causing me to reevaluate everything I've thought about those feelings I have for her. All this time, I thought I had to keep the feelings on lock to protect our friendship... but I had never considered that she might share those feelings just the same. And that thought sent everything in my head into turmoil. Suddenly, everything I see her do, every little movement, every tiny twitch carries so much more meaning to me.
There, for instance, she seems to notice that there's something going through my head, and her lips curl upwards ever so slightly, as do her eyebrows, giving her expression just that little extra bit of a knowing smirk. Ever so slowly, her fingers creep towards mine, every centimeter feeling like hours even if it was only a second, moving like a loving owner not wanting to scare their frightful, adorable little kitten. And after what felt like an eternity and an instant at the same time, her hand envelops mine, her warmth flowing into me just a tiny bit. Then, the other hand moves, just like the first, making its way towards mine and eventually wrapping around it as well. Akari and I have held hands so many times before in our life... but never has it meant so much before. Never have there been so many emotions attached to a simple gesture.
A multitude of emotions must be flashing across my face right now—worry, excitement, fright, elation, everything all at once—but Akari's face stays downright rigid compared to mine. She just holds that same, soft smile she always gives me, that smile that makes me feel like I'm home. And then, she cuts through my confusion with a single sentence.
"I feel the same way, Jane." she says, almost matter-of-factly, like it's just something she wanted to make sure I knew like a date for the next school test or what our homework for today is.
I'm flabbergasted. Is this it? Am I finally free to admit what I feel for her? Did she really just unlock my innermost secret with a simple sentence? All I could reply was a stammered "But... but how...?".
She laughs softly, a modest chuckle, not meant to be derisive, but simply an expression of happiness. A laugh that tells me that she was hoping I would react in such a way, a way that basically confirms to her my feelings. "Oh, Jane... I know you better than you know yourself. How could I not notice?"
I feel stupid. How did I think that I could hide something from Akari? But any sort of negative feelings I could have had just fly away as I feel her hand brush against my cheek before carefully cupping it. My eyes meet hers again, and I wonder how I could have, even for a moment, thought that this meant that she would think less of me. I'm sure she knows of my trepidation, my worries... but now that it's been all laid out with just a few gestures and words, there's no reason to ever hold back anymore. Her thumb caresses my cheek like a mother would do to a troubled child to calm it down again, those motherly notions that Akari had for me coming to the forefront again. She really just wants me to be my best, and that includes being open with my feelings. I realize that now.
Without any other words, her lips slowly move closer, ever so slightly, and I know what she is about to do. And I accept it completely. Right now, I'm happier than I've ever been in my life, and I know she is as well. All that is left for us to do is to express our happiness, and we have all the time in the world to do it. Her lips graze my forehead, not yet a kiss, and yet so much more than just a kiss would be.