"Gods, human, why is your apartment so infernally hot? Have you misappropriated your funds? Are your bills not paid? Did you not heed the heat advisory?" Cordelia groaned, splayed across my living room floor in a sweaty mess. "I can't stand this heat!"
Who could blame her? It was 102 degrees outside and here we were, trapped; perhaps I could've planned better.
"Not much to do about it now, Delia." I usually kept a level head, but given the circumstances? Fuck, it was hot.
The perpetually peeved Dark Elf snapped, shooting upright from the sweat-soaked carpet and beginning one of her infamous tirades. "My name is Cordelia Asmaela Masir'Lien! Not this 'Dee-lee-a'!" she screeched. "You must use my title properly or you will be punished!" Cordelia guffawed, "Back in the Jungles of Nez'liath, such disrespect would be rewarded with a proper flaying, then feeding to the Illithids!" It was easy to forget that Cordelia's former life consisted of torturing servants and living in the lap of luxury; her life in the modernized world was a far cry from her previous one and I had to respect how hard she was trying. My messy-haired — whatever we were, officially — finished her tantrum with an emphasized *humph*, blowing the stray strands of silver from her face as they escaped a messy top bun.
Perhaps I endured these little conniptions a little too much, or maybe I liked watching a voluptuous Dark Elf stomp about in nothing but a frilly tank top and panties; I relented.
"Alright, alright...want some water?"
"No." The answer was quick and high-pitched, purposely defiant like a child withholding their attention. "Alright, well..." I willed myself upright, uprooting myself from the perspiration slick carpet and heading to the fridge. I wasn't much of a host, as only a single item remained in the freezer, "...sweet, the last crunch-cone." I muttered to myself, but audibly enough to tease.
Cordelia's thin, pointed ears flicked back and forth, like little antennas honing in on the promise of Cordelia's one true love; sweets. "C-Crunch-cone? W-What did you just say?"
I pulled at the plastic wrapper, slowly spinning the sugary treat between my fingers. "Man, I oughta eat this quick...it's so damn hot." The only thing better than Cordelia's tirades was what came next.
"H-Human...please...you're so sweet!" Cordelia said, her eyes wide as she stared directly at my crotch. She looked down, then back up at me. "I know that you will dig deep into your precious little soul and give me that succulent treat; deliver me to salvation."
Who was I to waste such an opportunity? "Hmm, and what do I get in return?" I asked, my voice low enough to barely penetrate the room.
Cordelia's face grew flush with embarrassment. She glanced away quickly before saying, "Anything...just please spare my poor body from this infernal heat. Bestow upon me your frozen treat, my darling human. Your sweetness would chill the lava of Mount Riz'Athad. I want that icy treat."
"How bad do you want it, Delia?" I whispered, preying upon Cordelia's cravings mingled with her arousal.