I looked down at Kimiko once more. My vision was so full of tears I could barely make her out. Swearing under my breath I wiped my eyes clear. If nothing else I should at least stay strong for my daughter. She looked up at me, wide eyed and terrified — an expression I knew all too well since the fighting began. Oh, how I wished I could give her one last piece of happiness, some piece of respite, no matter how small, in these final moments.
Outside I could still hear shouts and the sound of gunfire. The Americans were no doubt closing in; our remaining time could be measured in minutes. I kneeled down beside Kimiko and spoke as softly and as calmly as I could.
"Kimiko, my pearl, I need to tell you that you are the joy of my life. I will always love you forever... I wish it didn't have to end like this, but I need you to know that... you mean the world to your father..."
I could feel my voice breaking as I tried to finish my words. Kimiko stared back, her face blank. I felt sick inside as I realized she didn't yet understand what was about to happen. Perhaps that was for the best — I would try to make her end as quick and painless as possible.
With that resolve I hugged Kimiko tightly, holding on for as long as could bear, then stood up and walked to the officer. However, instead of the expected grenade, the officer shook his head sadly.
"We're out."
"What?"
"Look:" he pointed to an empty crate. "There was only a few left to begin with."
My heart jolted in my chest. What now? The Americans were coming any minute, and if we weren't gone by then they'd capture Kimiko and take her away. An image of the brutish American pigs raping my only daughter flashed in my mind — the thought alone made me more sick than the smell of rotting flesh that already permeated the cave. In desperation I ran around, searching for an overlooked grenade, a gun, anything. Eventually I chanced upon what looked like an old shovel. One hit to her neck with that should take her out instantly. It was the best option I had.
The tears were openly streaming down my face as I returned to Kimiko. She ran over and clung tight to my side. Her small arms wrapped around my waist.
"Dad," she whispered. "I love you so much."
I couldn't speak. Instead I pulled her close and kissed her forehead. Then I took the shovel in both hands and raised it high above my head.