"Okay, so they're all cute anime girls?"
"That's right, but no, not anime. I've told you. Touhou is not anime! It's a series of bullet hell danmaku shooting games made by a single man named ZUN who loves beer a lot—"
"I get it, I get it. It's not anime, but there are cute girls. So there's a lot of hentai, huh? I should check that out."
Hey, getting something new to jerk off to might not be so bad. He actually did manage to pique my interest this time.
"What? No! I mean, sure, there is, but that's not the point. There's so much lore! And the music! Man, you're not getting it."
"Uh huh, cute an—cute girls with the deepest lore. Sure."
"Yeah, it goes really deep. Gensokyo is this part of Japan that's sectioned off by a super powerful magical barrier and only things and people that are no longer needed or used in the outside world sometimes find in their way. It's a sanctuary for youkai. The barrier was established by Yukari Yakumo—"
"So... she got big titties?"
"I mean, she does, but do you have to be so horny all the time? It's about the lore. Still, since you asked, Yukari is known as one of the BBAs and usually drawn with a nice figure."
"Cool, tell me more about her. Can you date her in the games?"
"They are shooting games! You don't date anyone, you shoot them with non-lethal bullets and drink tea afterwards! But she's really cool. Yukari has the ability to manipulate boundaries and open gaps in space through which she can move or grab stuff. And the boundaries can be very abstract, like, if I tell you something and it's a lie she could manipulate the boundary between truth and lies and actually make it so it's true."
There he goes again. He'll probably even keep on yapping if I try to interrupt him now, so I'll just have to try not to fall asleep. Just get back to the titties, my man, is that too much to ask?
"Akyuu, who is the chronicler of Gensokyo and wrote this encyclopedia called Perfect Memento in Strictest Sense, although it's really not all that accurate because she's all subjective about everything, wrote that it's a power comparable to that of the gods and that she can even manipulate the boundaries between reality and dreams and stories... Man! Just think about that for a moment."
He lets out a longing sigh.
"So if there's a universe out there where Touhou is real, where Yukari Yakumo exists, that means that she could totally manipulate the boundary between that universe and ours! She could totally exist and be out there! Show up any moment! Ah, just the thought is so exciting, isn't it?"
His gaze ablaze he pumps his fist and looks at me.
"You really don't get it, huh? She could show up here and take us to Gensokyo! Right now! We just have to believe in her! Those youkai need people to believe in them to exist after all. Something like that."
Now he's gone totally crazy, hasn't he? I can only shake my head.
"Bro. Calm down. Calm down! There's no way some anime girl would just show up here, no matter how powerful she is in the story. It's not real, my man."
Just then, a weird feeling of vertigo overcomes me. It's as if my feet have lost contact with the ground. My eyes widening, I look down at the ground. Where the garish carpet of my friend's apartment had been was now some weird purple hole full of creepy red eyes, tied off with ribbons on each end. Before I can react, I begin to fall straight into it, my friend launching himself at me and planting his belly on the table, unable to reach me before everything goes dark.
The last thing I hear is a drawn-out scream of frustration from my friend who was clearly staying behind and not currently falling into some weird space.
"So unfair! Take me instead!"
***
For a moment, my consciousness returns. I'm surrounded by eyes. An otherworldly face appears in front of me. It's beautiful. Long blonde hair streaming out from a silly, white cloth hat with a ribbon. Of course I can't help but let my eyes wander downward. Purple fabric strained over what must be a very ample bosom.
The space around me shifts while my gaze remains static. I'm looking, once more, at these golden eyes, the mesmerizing lips—which twist into a smirk. Darkness surrounds me again.
When I come to again, I find myself surrounded by green. A lot of green. Some kind of forest? The warm spring sun is filtering through the foliage.
I scramble to my feet. This is bad. I've never really been into survival, or any other kind of outdoor activities. Pubs and bars? I could deal with those, easy peasy. Forests? Get me out of there. Who knows what nasty critters lived in this place.
So, what first? I should look for help—for people. Aimlessly, I push through the undergrowth and am, before long, rewarded by the sight of a small path. Now that I can work with.
I walk along the path. It's much easier than stumbling around the undergrowth. Hopefully, it'll actually lead me to some place with people, preferably back to civilization and not to some kind of redneck village out in the sticks. Before long, I reach a clearing. In the center, brightly lit by the sun, stands a small wooden house. It's old, but still in good condition.
It's got a roof, and walls, and windows. That's enough for me. Approaching the door, I give it a firm knock. "Hey there, anyone home?"
A moment later a cute voice calls out from inside. "Who's there?"
"The name's John Smith. I've been dropped off in this dense ass forest and I'm trying to get back to civilization."
"Oh, a traveler, ain'tcha? Lemme get the door for ya. Be right there."
I wait. After a few moments, a young woman opens the door. She has long blonde hair with a braid on the left side and is wearing a black and white witch outfit.