"Ratata. Ratatatata."
You lounge on the soft overstuffed couch sipping beer from a big glass as sounds of gunfire continue to be heard outside.
"Enough of that. I can't let little girls fight for me while I just lay here and drink." you stand up, your determination fueled by the alcohol.
As you exit the room you see two cute kitsune lolis hunkering behind a half-wall.
"Damn, I am out of ammo." one of them looks at the magazine of her miniature M16.
"Me too." the other one responds, but then notices you "Oniichan, get back. You may get hurt out here."
"Don't worry about that." you say, patting the loli on the head "So, are you completely out of ammunition, then?"
"Yea..." she closes her eyes, enjoying your touch as you rub her soft fox ears.
"Ceasefire, we are out of ammo. I surrender." you yell and walk out into the middle of the big hallway with your hands in the air.
Knowing how valuable you are, there is little chance anyone will risk harming you.
"Oniichan... why betraying us..." the girl's eyes fill with tears as she reaches for you.
But you only wink at her in return.
"Careful, taicho!" one of the enemy neko lolis says, but their leader jumps over the barricade and runs up to you.
"Whoa, that's a big one." she sizes you up with a bit of an unsettling, hungry glare.
Then she turns to her troops.
"The victory is ours! We have captured the oniichan from another world!" she raises her tiny AK47 into the air in jubilation "Glory to the neko lolis!" she shouts and her troops follow the lead screaming "Hurray!".
You roll your eyes and grab the tiny gun she is carelessly waving above her head while restraining her from behind with the other hand.
Without much effort, you lift her petite body and point the toy-sized rifle at the neko lolis.
"I have captured your commander. Drop your weapons." you demand.
"That's unfair! Oniichans can't fight. Why the hell are you so strong?" neko leader squirms in your hands, but to no avail.
"Because I am not your regular oniichan." you hold the little girl pressed firmly to your chest.
"Good job, oniichan!" Naomi, the leader of kitsunes says, running toward you.
"Damn you Naomi, and your nefarious schemes!" neko leader yells angrily, but it sounds rather cute.
"Ha-ha, you lost, Lily." Naomi sticks her tongue out. "We got your leader, drop your weapons!"
Neko lolis reluctantly drop their guns one by one, clearly frustrated by the outcome.
"You too." you glare at Naomi.
"What?" kitsune answers, surprised.
"Drop your weapons." you wave the gun at her.
"But... we are your friends!" her eyes widen in confusion.
"Yes, we all are friends here from now on. I am tired of seeing you girls hurting each other. So we are gonna stop this war once and for all."
"You don't understand, you think we haven't tried it before? There are too many of us. You won't be able to sustain us all." neko thrashes in your grip.
"Have you forgot already? I am the not your regular oniichan" you start rubbing her head gently with your chin.
Nekomimi can't help but to close her eyes and purr with enjoyment, her ears twitch and tickle your cheeks.
"Well, if your current performance is anything to judge by, this is certainly possible..." Naomi notes.
"Good. Now, to affirm our peace agreement I gonna headpat both of your leaders at once." you throw the tiny AK on the ground and grab kitsune leader under your free arm.
"Wait, what do you mean both? I don't want anything to do with her!" Naomi, who is now held by you, starts to squirm.
"Is that so? Well, I guess Lily will have all the headpats to herself, then. Think you can handle it?" you turn your head to Lily.
"Yes, there is no problem." neko loli nods vigorously, swaying her tail with excitement.
"No, wait, that is not what I meant. You can't headpat only her! You gotta be fair!" kitsune protests and clings to you.
"We will be busy for a while." you address the rest of the neko and kitsune lolis "Don't fight amongst yourself, or oniichan will be very disappointed. Anyone who hurts another loli will not get any headpats."
With that, you disappear into your lounge.
Upon entering, you throw two lolis onto your large king-sized bed and sit beside them.
"Why don't we start with some cuddling?" you grin, pleased with yourself.
Lolis look at each other for a second, then scoot over to you and cling to your body.