You're ${character.name}, and were selected by the Grail. With three red command seals emblazoned upon your right hand you decide to draw a summoning circle immediately. You retreat to your basement to complete the deed. Within hours the bindings are laid, the intricate seal carved across the whole floor, and you channel your mana into the circle. You consider what kind of Servant you'll summon: One of the Hassan perhaps? An invincible Berserker? Maybe it'll even be a cute—Your thoughts are cut off by an explosion of power and burning heat from your right hand. The sensations smash apart your concentration like a sledgehammer to a ballerina's knees, leaving nothing behind but pain and confusion. Then the light dies, the pain subsides, and just like that poor ballerina your hopes and dreams are shattered as well.
A girl, young and kind of cute, sits in the ruined mess the explosion made of your basement floor. Your circle has been destroyed, rubbed off by random books and a sudden computer desk. The girl herself wears a bright pink bat-like cloak, fashioned to look like a kimono decorated with cherry blossoms. Her long black hair is gathered into two large twintails fully half the length of her body, and terminates in golden wheat colored tips.
She taps away at her computer, and then suddenly notices she's in a different place. She wheels about, and locks eyes with you. Her pale amber orbs hidden behind smart oval shaped glasses.
"Ah! Gomenasorry!" The girl shouts, and leaps up to bow politely before you.
"Uh, um, yes I'm Osakabehime, assassin and hikikomori elite!" Osakabehime, the legendary youkai of Himeji Castle, is a weeb.
"You must be my master, right? Well, I am subaramazing! The strongest hikikomori in Osaka!" The girl poses, a little too proud of that.
"So, as a princess, it'll be daijoufine if I stay in, right? Arigathanks gozaimuch!" Osakabehime finishes her little spiel, and bows again. Then proceeds to plop back down in front of her computer, and