You stop leaning on the cobbled wall of the alley to see how long the line is. The whole alley was filled with elven women of all ages, from lithe teenagers to larger, motherly-looking ladies. You almost can't believe how many of these girls are lined up for your service, snaking outside of the alley and around the corner into another street. You look up at your poster with a tinge of newfound doubt. The parchment has an illustration of yourself mirroring what you are wearing right now: Roguish leather armored, weathered and damaged in a few places from past adventures. Two oversized knives sat on either side of your hips, the only gear you kept in good condition. To complete your classic rogue design, you've donned a dark cloak that covered most of your body, finishing with a hood where your tired eyes would be hidden under the shadow.
Below your face sketched onto the parchment, there was writing in a thick black ink. It described your... apparently... unbelievably popular service. "30 Second Half-Hearted Makeout Session with an Apathetic HUMAN Rogue! 2 Silver, NO SEX!" There was a small sketch at the bottom showing a half-hearted kiss between two people. You added that just to practice drawing... you know, just dabbling. But your thoughts are interrupted when a shaky hand gives the lightest of taps on your cloaked shoulder. A nervous teenaged girl looks back at you, a weird, almost desperate glimmer in her eye. She wore light knight armor with depictions of roses and trees on it. She's also holding an old wooden staff with a sword strapped to the side.
"Uhm, I'm here for my session. I have two silver, see?" She says quickly, almost stumbling over words while she produced a purse to rummage through. Her hands shook as she fished out a small pouch of coins before presenting it to you. It was part of the allure of your service for you to act completely uncaring, but it was hard to do so with these elven women. They're all so... weirdly overly excited with the idea of doing lewd stuff with humans. No other race gets crazy like elves.
You take the pouch and quickly check to see if the copper inside added up correctly. You find that it did, and you nod to the eager knight, doing your best to show no emotion, just pure apathy injected into a one liner. "...Yeah, this should work fine." You say without feeling, making her eyes light up even further.
Her face goes red, long ears swaying about as her head bobs with excitement. "O-Oh thank y-youuuu... Human rogues are so... cute..."
God, every elf is like this. Whatever. You grip one of her arms making her yelp a bit before pulling her in close. She is pushing herself into you, melting in your forceful arms, waiting for your next schlocky, brooding but wholly uncaring statement. With her face only inches away, you sigh, and whisper, "Yeah, yeah. Let's get started then, huh?"
The elven knight squeals at every disinterested word you utter, her eyes looking like hearts, mouth hung open with a passive whimper of uncontrolled elven excitement. With her body limp in your arms, you push her against the wall of the alley and lean forward, closing the gap between your lips and hers. She eagerly meets you, and you both press their faces together. And for the next thirty seconds, the line partially falls into a bit of chaos as girls try to peek over each other and watch your moody, sexy exchange. Almost everyone is silent except for the occasional call out from the crowd, usually a younger elven girl declaring something to the rest of the girls like, "That's hot!" or "I can't wait my turn!" but most just stared with creepy lustfulness. Truly, elves are creatures of sexual obsession, even a single human encounter drives half of this city into insane arousal.
Finally, the 30 seconds are up. She was a terrible kisser, as most elves are. They're not very practiced and their excitement makes them sloppy and weird. Not giving her even a second of extra time to continue, you pull away from the kiss which proves quite difficult as she tries to hang onto you desperately, her cheeks still flushed bright pink. As you finally break away, you look at her disheveled state, panting heavily and staring off into space in bliss. Her thighs are closed together and her eyes linger on your waistline for a moment, her tongue sliding across her teeth nervously.
Between heavy breaths and staggered speech, she speaks up after a few moments, "Did I do well? Did I satisfy you, human...?"
"Yeah, okay... you satisfied me." you respond noncommittally. It was a lie, but it was what these women wanted to hear.
Delighted by your response and painfully unable to read the room, she does what about thirty percent of women in the line do, probably thinking of herself as being more bold and asking something no other girl had the courage to do. "M-Maybe... if you liked me so much... I'd be willing to... go farther... with you..."
Not even worthy of a vocal reaction, you simply point to the bottom of her sign, causing her to squint a bit to read the bolded, underlined part: "NO SEX!"
She looks away, defeated and downtrodden, disappointed by the answer. She walks away like she just lost a month's worth of savings gambling. And what's worse, every time someone asks this and gets rejected, the crowd lets out a collected groan of disappointment like one of them was really going to convince me to bend the rules. God, elves.
You wipe your mouth with your sleeve and lean back against the alleyway, rubbing your temples as the next client approaches, another elf of course. This one was different, more