My body almost seems alien to me—everything seems so much stranger since I'd experienced the change. Since I gained these powers. They too, seem distinct and separate from whatever should be the genuine 'me.'
It all seems so unnecessary, too.
Why should I gain this power? I'm no better than anyone, hell! I'm probably worse! Why would this come to me? I'm not a good judge of people, I don't know how to fix the problems of the world, I'm afraid to even think too hard in case I accidentally cause some ethically horrifying catastrophe.
I don't even know what my own limits are.
To explain, one day recently, I suddenly gained unfathomable abilities. To call them 'abilities,' seems really counter-intuitive because, in scope, I can make pretty much anything happen.
And really, I shouldn't be the person to do that.
You see, I'm just an average guy who doesn't have any special skills or talents. I'm just out of high school and trying to live my life, do the job that I've managed to lock down. Just live.
Except... now I can make anything happen.
I'm not crazy! It's not like—coincidences. I had a flat tire, but... then I used my powers and it suddenly wasn't flat anymore. I used my powers to make my tires all brand-new, and make my car a slightly more expensive model—oh! And clean! I made it clean, too.
I can do other things too. Slow down, or stop time, bring plants back from being dead, just magically 'poof' things into non-existence (like trash), and even create things (mostly snacks thus far) out of thin air!
It's amazing. I haven't shown anyone, because I'm terrified and I'm still so confused. I know I shouldn't question it, I should just... use it to help people somehow, right?
But, still, why me? Why did this happen to me? What am I supposed to do with all these powers?
I mean, look at the shit I've done already.
A few weeks ago, I was walking home from work when I saw someone getting mugged on the street corner.
I stared. I couldn't do anything. I mean, I called the police—but I didn't step in. I didn't help other than that. Some people say that's enough. Me? I don't really know.
Not only is there that, but I have my own problems too. I'm an indulgent consumer with a heavy pornography addiction. I'm also very shy and awkward around girls.
I'm kind of a mess, actually.
I... actually used my powers to make a masturbation sleeve and lubricant appear, and that's been... well, that's been just great.
But, yeah, you get the point.
See, I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to handle everything that comes with this new life.
But I'm in it anyway.
I don't really have to sleep anymore, which is really cool. I had no idea how much time there was in a day! If you don't need to sleep, you can just... do everything else.
Learning has become way easier, too. I can read, write, and speak fluent Japanese, Mandarin Chinese, German, and Russian, and Spanish, too!
I have perfect recall, which is neat. Unfortunately... it doesn't seem like I'm exactly a better person. I'm still motivated by material things... I still have all the same fetishes, which is kind of weird. I mean, uh, it's weird that I still have fetishes!
I mean, it seems a little unreal that I can be so powerful and still... like what I like, you know?
Anyway. These are the kinds of things I'm really thinking about tonight, sitting on my bed, my laptop on my chest.
It's almost midnight, and I'm staring at my screen, my mind racing.
I can't stop thinking about what I'm doing.
What I'm becoming.
I don't really want to think about it, I decide and sigh as I open a browser tab to a porno.
Which... becomes regularly more and more dangerous as I do it. Because, as my dick gets hard and I start to stroke, sometimes I think, 'Well I could just put myself in the video like nothing happened,' but then I think about all of the actors, actresses, production crew—hell the world outside of the recording—and what would become of them once my 'fantasy' was done. Would they be fully real? They'd be more than imaginary, that's for damn sure.
Unfortunately, there's a lot I'd do for sensation. Like... right now, the silicone sheathe that I bought as a masturbation aid? I'm... willing it to float. I'm also willing the lube to squeeze out in it, and I'm using my mind to... heat the entire product. That way it's warm. I'm also enhancing the elasticity: so it's tight.
Because, despite the amount of philosophy I'm consuming and all of the things I'm learning: I'm still a sensory addict. And when I think about breaking the cycle... I'm not sure that I want to.
So, I move my covers (I don't even worry about messes anymore, since I can just will them away on a molecular level) with my mind and the sheath slips inside so that I can prop it on my stiffening erection as I still browse to find some porn that strikes my fancy.
I scroll through a bunch of videos, looking for something that makes me feel good.
I don't even need to use my hands... the sleeve bobs with my desire, slowing and gripping wherever I want it to. It feels good, but ultimately? It seems like a pointless and hollow victory.
I'm not going to give up my fantasies, or my urges.
That's just... a part of who I am.
The videos scroll by, and I keep skipping ahead to see if they end well, or if they feature my fetishes, but it seems like none of them do.
"Shit."
I sigh and close the browser tab. I'm feeling a little frustrated, honestly.
I mean, I thought that maybe this would change me. Make me a better person.
I start searching for hentai online, scrolling through pictures that are definitely within my strike zone. They make my erection harder, but I can't find anything I want to really finish to and before I know it, I realize that I've just sat here for two hours, wasting time. I haven't even been edging.
The sloppy sleeve keeps making this 'schlurp schlurp' sound, and it feels amazing but... I want something more.
I close my laptop and throw it aside, turning over onto my back as I stare at the ceiling.
"You know what?" I say aloud. "I'm tired of this shit. I'm tired of being me."
And I can't believe it, but I'm not sad. Not one bit.
I just... feel empty. Like I need to fill it somehow.
"Shit," I groan to myself quietly as a scheme brews in my mind.
I haven't wanted to just make someone appear to fuck, because what if they were a real person? Would making them disappear just be murder? Philosophically, it's a nightmare. To create an individual to fulfill your basest needs, then just... make them vanish into non-existence. Pull them out of, then throw them back into the void for nothing. The hubris of it is catastrophic! For masturbation!? Is that the purpose of life? No! That would be an absolute degradation of virtue, of ethics.
... Cloning oneself with informed consent, however... that's another matter entirely, isn't it?
I lie there for a moment, contemplating my thoughts, trying to figure out how I could pull off such a thing.
I'm still lying on my back when I finally have it figured out, and I feel my cock twitch in excitement.
I will the sleeve to vanish and head to the shower. I don't need to, but I feel it's important to clean up, and besides... when 'I meet myself,' I want to be attracted to the individual on the other end. I like a girl who's cleaned up, and if I were a girl, I'd like a guy who is too.
So, my plan: I'm going to clone myself using my power. Using that power, I'll make the other me a girl. The ideal girl of my dreams... maybe too ideal. Then, we'll have hot, sweaty love-making (masturbation technically?) until exhaustion. Then I can always clear that exhaustion... and do whatever else I want. I could even rejoin them with me to feel all of those experiences first-hand.
Surely, I think, there will be absolutely no problems with this!
Surely.
* * *
I stand in front of the mirror in the bathroom, scrutinizing the reflection I see there.
I've got my long hair pulled back in a ponytail, which has made my eyes look huge. I feel a little awkward, but also oddly confident and attractive... maybe because I've never seen myself like this before? Probably just the powers.
I take the time to fix some minor blemishes that have always bothered me, using my power to just... alter myself whole cloth. I make myself look, truly and for the first time in my life, like exactly the 'me' I've always wanted to be.
It's... disappointing, but not bad! Maybe I might even really be able to get a real date sometime soon, eh?
... I shouldn't push my luck.
Still, with a towel wrapped around my waist, I get my cologne and deodorant, applying both. I style my hair (using my powers) to look really sharp. I want to give myself the best experience possible, after all.
Then I open my bedroom door and walk back into my room.
"Here we go," I say, taking a deep breath to steady myself. I look around and decide on a spot where I... or 'she,' should appear. Settling for putting her directly on the bed, I furrow my brow in focus as I start to mentally sculpt the exact girl of my dreams, disposing of several false-starts.
But soon, I have her in mind. She'll be