Another day, another afternoon cooped up in my bedroom, impotently lamenting my loneliness. Could I do something about it? Probably, but at the same time, if making friends was easy, there wouldn't be an entire industry writing books about how to do it. Not that I've ever looked into them, I'm just using their existence as a reason for me not to try. I find it to be remarkable how frank and honest I can be about my failings in my head while at the same time not changing a thing about my approaches to life. The human condition truly is odd.
The sound of my bedroom door opening throws me out of my haze, and I am met by the face of my little sister Sara peeking through the door. "Hey, big bro! I'm gonna head out and, like, go drinkin'. I'll be back in a few, alright?" she tells me.
In response, I give her a sigh. "Yeah, sure. Go and have fun," I reply, my tone quite mopey. I try not to get her down as well, not like she has to be down just because I'm down, but it kind of just seeps into my general being, and I know she can tell.
Usually, she just rolls her eyes at me and goes on about her day, but it seems like something today has her feeling different. "Y'know, like, I'm gettin' real tired of your bitchin', big bro. You're, like, totally harshin' my mellow. So y'know what, bro? You're comin' along with me. I'm gonna, like, get you a boyfriend and then you can shut up because you're gonna have his dick in your mouth or whatever," she says—nay, declares. And if there is one thing about my sister I know, it's that when she's got something planned, I'm not going to be able to go against her.
So in the end, it's no surprise to me when I find myself standing next to her in front of the doors of the Gay Bar, the very imaginatively named gay bar this town has. I'd heard her talk about this place a couple times, and it was here that she picked up her girlfriend, so I guess she figures I can get someone here, too. I will admit, I am very, very nervous about this right now. I'm not a drinker, and I'm not a social guy, so hitting up bars was never a thing I really did, especially a gay bar. Like, sure, I'm gay, but going from recognizing that I like dudes to actively seeking out a partner is a big leap. And yet, she's going all in in making this happen for me, completely unhindered by these factors.
We head inside, and she quickly chauffeurs me over to a table in a corner, yells a quick order towards the general direction of the bartender, who picks up on it immediately—benefits from being a regular, I suppose—and then sets off to look around for who's on offer here. I watch, idly sipping from the painfully saccharine, yet still somehow quite pleasant to drink concoction the bartender served up for me as she walks about, her gaze sweeping across the place like a hunter searching for prey... only she's searching for a guy for me to chat to. It's clear she's taking this seriously from the intent look in her eyes as she goes about her survey. On the inside, I'm hoping she won't find anybody and I won't have to talk to anybody, but I don't think I'm going to be that lucky.
Sure enough, after a few moments of this, she starts talking up a guy at the bar. They're talking, and laughing, and oh God they're coming over. Shit, shit... I'm going to have to talk to this guy? I mean, he is kinda pretty... ah, hell, I shouldn't be thinking about that right now, I'm already nervous enough without considering that this guy is actually attractive to me. The two sit down at the table, and Sara points at me. "And so, like, this is my big bro, Aaron. He's totally new to this whole gay thing, so be nice, you hear?" she tells him, playfully chastising him to not mistreat her precious big brother.
The young man looks over to me, a gentle smile on his face, and he reaches across, offering a handshake that I eventually accept with a meek grip. "Nice to meet you, Aaron. I'm Trey. How do you like our little watering hole, then?" he asks.
Oh jeez, we're actually doing this. We're talking. And all the while, Sara sits next to me, gently poking me in the ribs, pushing me onwards. This is going to be awkward... but maybe it'll be alright?