While browsing through the recordings on my Smart TV, I notice a lot of episodes of Drag Race and other such cross-dressing type programmes have been saved to the TV's hard drive. I'm puzzled as to how those programmes have been recorded as it's not something that I'm interested in, and my son Sebastian is only eight years old, so too young to be interested in such things, right?
Intrigued, I head upstairs to Sebastian's bedroom and open his door with the intention of asking him about the recordings on the TV. As the door opens, I see my son standing naked by his bed while holding... something... against his chest. Because he's facing away from me, I can't see clearly what it is. Looking over his shoulder, Sebastian squeals in embarrassment and dives onto the bed, covering his bare butt and whatever it was he was holding against his chest.
"Daddy! Knock on the door next time!" He snaps, his voice still a high pitched and squeaky.
"Sorry, son... I didn't know you were getting changed." I say. While I'm sorry that I've upset and embarrassed him in such a way, I'm also slightly confused. This is the first time I've seen Sebastian being worried about his modesty. Normally, he'd walk from his bedroom to the bathroom naked on bath nights. And sometimes he'd come downstairs after a bath and watch TV for an hour or so after a bath while still naked.
If I'm honest, I hadn't expected this change in his behaviour to happen for another two or three years. Shrugging such thoughts off, I turn my back on him and close his bedroom door.
"Get dressed Seb, then come downstairs. Lunch is in ten minutes and I want to talk to you." I say.
"O-okay." He replies, his voice returns to his normal tone.
After we've had a simple lunch, I take Sebastian into the living room, where I sit down on the sofa and place him on my lap.
"Seb, I want to talk to you about the programmes saved on the TV's hard drive." I say to him.
"W-what programmes, Daddy?" Sebastian asks nervously.
"The ones about cross-dressing, Seb. There's over 20 episodes of Drag Race saved on the TV and a film called 'The Boy In The Dress'. I didn't save them on the hard drive, so I wanted to know if you did. If not, then I'm going to delete them to free up some space." I explain to him.
Sebastian shifts uncomfortably on my lap at the mention of deleting those shows and I could almost swear that I saw his face take on a slightly pinker tinge.
"N-no Daddy... I didn't save t-those things on the TV." He tells me, rather unconvincingly.
"It's alright if you did, son, I'm not angry about it. But you need to tell me if you saved them, or else they'll get deleted." I say.
"Y-you promise?"
"Of course, Seb. You're my son and I love you. No matter how you choose to live your life, that will never change." I answer honestly.
"T-then... please don't delete those programmes." He says, his nervousness once again painfully obvious. Then after a moment he adds, "what do you mean by 'how I choose to live my life'?"
"I mean that you are my son and I'll always love you. It doesn't matter to me if you grow up to be straight, gay or bi. If you'd rather live as a girl, that's okay by me too." I explain, though now it's me that doesn't sound totally convincing. At just eight years old, I don't know how much he'll truly understand of what I just said, but convincing or not, I'll love him the same no matter what. Or try to, at least.
Sebastian squirms around in my lap once more until he is facing me. Then after an uncomfortable moment spent staring into my eyes, he launches himself forward at me, knocking me into the backrest of the sofa and the air out of my lungs at the same time as he embraces me tightly.
"Thank you, Daddy." He murmurs into my chest as he holds me tight. Then, he lets go of me and gets off my lap, before heading back upstairs to his room.
***
It's been two weeks since my conversation with Sebastian. In that time, he's gone back to his normal carefree self. This morning, I woke up to find that a card had been slipped under my door at some point during the night. Opening it, I find that it's a handmade birthday card that Sebastian has obviously spent a lot of time making. Inside is a message that reads:
'Happy Birthday Daddy! Your birthday surprise is waiting for you in my bedroom.
With love, Sebby.'
Sebby? I thought he hated that nickname. Sebastian got so angry at me the last time I called him Sebby, saying that the nickname sounded girly. Shrugging such thoughts away, I get dressed and head to Sebastian's room. Though learning from my encounter two weeks ago, I knock on his door and wait to be invited in.
"Come in Daddy!" Sebastian answers moments later.
Opening his door, I step into Sebastian's bedroom and look for Seb. After quickly scanning the room, I find that the only place Sebastian could be is under the covers of his bed.
"Seb, are you here?" I ask.
"It's Sebby. And yes, I'm here." He replies, throwing the covers off the bed, revealing that he is wearing a fancy gothic dress and a small black chocker with a tag around his neck.
As I approach the boy, looking at him curiously, I gently take hold of the tag on his chocker and inspect it. The small heart shaped piece of metal is engraved on both sides. On the front it simply reads 'Sebby'. On the reverse, it reads 'Daddy's Plaything'.
"Is this... my birthday surprise?" I ask him nervously.
"No Daddy, the chocker isn't your surprise. I am." Sebastian answers brightly. "You said you'd love me however I chose to live my life. I choose to be your plaything, Daddy."