It's another sunny day in the pasture: The birds are singing, and the sheep are peacefully grazing at the green, lush grass.
Not that it's any grand feat, considering how far from any serious dangers my farm really is, but I've never let anything bad happen to my herd, ever.
Not a single successful wolf attack, not a single thief heist, not even any unfortunate accidents.
And today, that isn't going to change.
I'm sitting under the usual tree shade when I spot some commotion in a particular shrubbery by the herd.
From it, emerges what can only be described as an atrocity; a green thing covered in something white.
Alarmed, but not panicked, I get up from my spot and cautiously approach the thing doing my best not to get spotted by it.
As I get closer I start to make out what it really is:
A green creature wearing what seems to be a white leotard with layers of cotton poorly glued to it.
I'm baffled. A goblin came all the way out here to try and steal some lamb? And more importantly, did it really think such a crude disguise would fool anyone?
Before I can think of what to do next, I hear a high-pitched, scratchy, yet feminine voice.
"Keeheehee~ My plan was a success," the goblin says. "None of them noticed I'm not a real sheep!"
I'm sure none of the sheep think she's one of them, but they just don't care.
I'm about to let the mischievous goblin know that her plan didn't work when she cluelessly perks up her round, green butt trying to mimic the sheeps' grazing motions. That's when I decide I'll do a little mischief myself.
I let out a little whistle and that's enough for the goblin to flinch, but she doesn't turn around.
"Alright girls, who's it gonna be today?" I say, pretending to look around the herd. "Oooh this one's looking juicy!"
I then gently touch her right buttcheek and caress it.
"Eep!"
The goblin girl is shaking. She quietly winces but remains motionless.
"Now there's a right purdy leg of lamb," I say, massaging her thighs.
"Shit, shit, shit, shit!" The goblin whispers to herself. "This perverted sheep-fucker thinks I'm one of his fluffy cumdumps!"
"Hmm? Did I hear someone talk?" I tease her. "There better not be anyone here trying to steal my sheep. Last person who tried that ended up as chow for the pigs!"
"Ah! Uhh... Baaah!" the desperate goblin tries making a sheep's sound. "Baah..."
"Hmpf, that's better," I say out loud. "Now where was I..."
The poorly disguised goblin girl is right in front of me, on all fours, and making ridiculous sheep sounds.
"Baah," she's still bleating. "Baaaah..."
I don't think she'll fight back if I try anything more drastic... But do I dare take this that far?