Waking up in an actual bedroom that I'm not going to get thrown out of for not paying is still a strange experience to me, even if it's been a week now since I've been hired by this province's lord in a rather unorthodox manner. Why, I was just minding my own business, drunk off my ass at a local tavern, when two guards of the lord's estate came in and declared that they were looking for the biggest drunkard here. Now, I'm quite sure that there were others there that were worse drunks than I am, but they were locals, and I was the weirdo outsider, so the entire tavern pointed at me, and that was good enough for them to grab me and carry me off to the estate, with me not in enough of a state to fight back or even resist in any way.
And in the morning after that, those two big burly guys with swords very kindly explained my new situation, the unspoken threats not lost on me, even with a massive headache. So it was with little complaining that I acquiesced and became the latest servant at this court. It did help that the work, while hard, was not unreasonable, the rations were generous, and the lodgings were more comfortable than anything I was ever used to. But while I at first thought that I was just pressed into service purely for work, that would in fact turn out to be wrong. I was told to rest up until the evening, and that is exactly what I did.
Leaving my room, I am quickly seen to by a guard and ushered to the dining hall, where I am told to take my place directly by the side of where the Lord Genji will sit, which is a surprise to me. Up to this point, I have only heard of the lord, not actually seen him, and yet I'm supposed to take the place of the guest of honor or something? There's a feeling lingering at the back of my mind that whatever led to me being here was more deliberate than I first thought. It is here that I wait, watching as other servants scurry about, setting everything up and preparing quite the banquet.
Eventually, the guests begin to file in as well, with some being higher ranking servants I recognize, some I presume to be members of Lord Genji's court judging by their dress, and some might be more personal friends, with some of them looking quite foreign to me. They must have some sort of connection to the lord from his time as a mercenary. And finally, the lord himself arrives, taking his place right next to me. It's clear to me right from first glance that he carries himself in a dignified manner, and despite his reputation of being a warrior, his build is rather slim, agile even. "Ah, you must be Masakata. My guards have told me about you, but I have not had the pleasure of meeting you yet," he says, his tone soft. "May we have a long and fruitful friendship... though I suppose that tonight will tell me quickly whether that will be the case or not." The statement implies a lot without telling me anything, and his slight, knowing smile just adds to the trepidation. Still, at least he seems more playful than malicious. When I give him a respectful nod and slight bow, he chuckles. "While man might test his mettle in battle, it is only when sharing food with his comrades that his true colors show." With him sitting gracefully like this, speaking to me like a poet, one could almost forget that he was a warrior. But as the feast begins, I still can't quite figure out what I'm supposed to be doing here.
***
I figured it out, and all it took was way too many cups of sake. In retrospect, the signs were there fairly early, when the food being brought in began to dry up, and instead we were served more and more exotic variants of sake from all across the country. When a couple of the other guests started excusing themselves before stumbling off or being supported by some servants, I thought that this event would surely end soon, but I could not have been more mistaken. But what really sealed the deal for me was the moment one of the guests vomited, causing plenty of splatter that hit his neighbors, then passed out in his own vomit. I've done plenty of drinking, and usually, when people start vomiting, it's time to wrap it up, but clearly I did not account for what Lord Genji was planning here. Indeed, all that happened was that the vomiter was carried out and his spot was cleaned by the servants, and then the next bottle of sake was brought in.
Things just continued to escalate from there, and before I knew it, I had arrived in this current situation. The dining room looks more like a battlefield now, with spilled sake staining several places and multiple guests either sleeping right here because they didn't make it to the bedrooms, or just outright passed out. In the end, the last two men standing—or, well, kneeling—are Lord Genji and I. And it is now that his plan is fully clear to me. Sending out guards to pick up the biggest local drunkard to turn into a servant, it was all building to this—becoming someone that can keep up with him. And I should mention, I'm not really keeping up with him either, I'm pacing myself. At first I drank just as quickly as he did, but the more it became clear that I was in for the long haul, I slowed down quite a bit. This man is a legendary drinker, and the gods only know what things he got up to in foreign lands to make him this way.
And while the alcohol hasn't defeated Lord Genji, it has had its clear effects on him. The topknot that held his hair had become undone at some point, causing his long, white mane to simply spill out all over his shoulders, and the hair covering his left eye was swept away by errant gestures, causing a massive scar over that eye to become visible, giving an edge to his otherwise soft facial features. "Hah! Looks like my guards did a good job this time. Last time they brought some runt that couldn't even handle half what you've handled so far. I'd almost given up hope that this country still had people capable of drinking in it!" he bellows, the grace and dignity in his voice completely gone.
"I... I'm glad I can be of service, my lord..." I mutter in return, holding back a belch. How is this man capable of putting away this much booze? Is he even human?
My stunned expression simply causes him to guffaw, clearly amused by my inebriation. "Hey, Masakata... you ever disembowel a man? Not just kill him, but get a real good cut, so his guts spill out right then and there? Oh, it's a sight to behold! Part of me wanted to do that to that damn Turk I was working for when he sent me into early retirement, but that got me to here, drinking with you, so maybe it wasn't all bad. Still, there's nothing quite like the thrill of battle, the taste of blood... you ever taste blood before? I tore some Greek's throat out with my teeth once," he tells me, clearly incredibly happy to delve into his memories.
For a bit, all I can do is stare, but I do manage to catch myself. "Um, no, can't say I've done that before..." is the only thing I can say in response. What else can one say to that? Even if I wasn't drunk right now, that would have me stunned.
But Lord Genji was not done, oh no, and he laughed uproariously once more, his lips curling up into an almost sweet-looking smile across his youthful face. "Guess that's not a common occurrence for guys like you. ...You ever fuck a guy in the ass?