The day begins with a text message. "It's over" is all it reads, and I'm not even surprised. I had been drifting away from my most recent girlfriend for a few weeks now, and honestly, I've been waiting for this message for at least a week now. It's basically the same thing with each of my now former girlfriends: They all say that I'm just too emotionally distant with them, or not involved enough with the relationship, and they break it off. And it's not like I can argue that point. When I get right down to it, I'm basically only in it to sex with them—while I do want romance, they just all seem so shallow and unworthy of my attention. Common whores, really. Not the kind that I would be willing to turn into my true traditional wife.
With my mood down in the dumps at the realization that I might never find love, I trudge towards university. But then, as I approach the building, I spot something strange: Somebody being accosted by some subhuman darkies! And with me being pissed off, I decide that for once, I am going to stand up for my mighty race. Stomping towards the commotion, I yell at those subhumans to leave that poor person alone, and after a moment of silence where we just stare at each other, they eventually walk away, muttering something in their reprehensible dialect. Walking towards the one they were bothering, he seems to be a kind of timid, nerdy guy. "Hey, I hope those guys weren't giving you any trouble," I say to him with a smile.
He stammers a bit, probably a bit stunned someone would stand up for him. "U-Um... y-yeah. I-I mean no! I... thanks. I'm... not so great with groups of people, so I'm glad you got me out of that situation. You seem really nice, what's your name? I'm Will," he replies, a soft blush appearing on his cheeks as he tries and fails to maintain eye contact with me.
"I'm Reinhardt, and it's nice to meet you, Will," I say, holding my hand out to him. The two of us then shake hands and start a conversation, during which it comes out that he actually shares quite a few classes with me. Furthermore, he's a genuinely nice guy to just talk to, with a happy disposition that brightens my day just by chatting with him. Over the next few days, the two of us end up growing a good bit closer as friends, with me looking out for him. And when one of my acquaintances from college invites me for some sort of degenerate party, I decide to invite Will along as well, since a bit of entertainment every once in a while isn't too bad, and it's not like I'm going to be converting Will to the right side immediately.
At the party, it turns out that neither of us are really all that experienced with alcohol, but he seems eager to try nonetheless, since he's never been invited to a party like this before. And as his friend, I join him drink for drink, which eventually leads to both of us getting quite drunk indeed, to the point that we decide we should probably leave the party before we get completely shitfaced. While I worry for a bit that I might not be able to get home in this state, Will thankfully has his place very close by, allowing the two of us to drunkenly stumble over there. But as we struggle to make our way to his bedroom, the mood changes. Will laments that he couldn't kiss a girl at the party and that he really wanted to, and I, in my drunken state, make the stupid suggestion that he could just kiss me. Sure enough, he takes me up on the offer, and before long, we're laying on his bed, kissing and giggling, completely fucking wasted and without a care in the world before eventually passing out. For a while there, I felt truly happy, I felt that I was with someone that genuinely liked me and that I genuinely liked.
But as I awake in the morning with a massive headache, the only thing I feel is massive regret and disgust. This degeneracy was not something I was supposed to be engaging in. Love was only to be found between a man and a woman, God damnit, and this... faggotry of last night was a sign this had gone too far. As I sneak out of his place, leaving him laying there asleep, I resolve to keep my distance from Will from now on. Nothing good can come from this homosexual. Over the next week, I make sure to dodge Will at every opportunity, and to read up good, honest societies of the past. Ancient Rome and Greece, societies of moral order and an absence of degeneracy with lessons that I could use to regain my pure spirit.
Things were going well enough, but one day, I make a mistake. I spot Will heading my direction while at campus, and to avoid him, I duck into the nearby public bathroom, thinking he didn't spot me. However, it turns out that that was a miscalculation, as just a moment after I feel like I might have dodged him, the door opens and he steps inside. This is it, there's no way I can avoid him now. For the first time in a week, our eyes meet... and oh God, he's crying. With tears streaming down his face, he steps up to me, looking up into my face and grabbing on to my shirt. "I... I'm s-so sorry, Reinhardt! I d-didn't mean to do what I did back th-then... I was s-so confused and scared, and I... I know it wasn't right! W-We were both drunk, and I w-went too far, I-I know... but please, I beg you, c-can we please still be friends? I've never had anyone... anyone I l-liked as much as you... so please, I'll be good, I p-promise, just please, please d-don't avoid me like this anymore..." he stammers, speech slurred as his breath hitches with sobs.
And it is in that moment, as I look down into Will's reddened eyes, begging me to not abandon him, that my worldview shatters. Everything I've built up over years about the degeneracy of homosexuality, the purity of the love between a man and a woman building up to marriage, the righteousness of right wing ideology, the idea of the ideal Aryan man...